2 Green Eyed Girls

Missing.....

2010-11-22T14:25:00.000-08:00

My girls are blessed with the best possible people on this earth that love and care for them. Grammy, Grandma, Aunties, Uncles, Guncles and 2 of the best cousins ever! But sometimes I feel as though they're missing out.

Not on love, affection or good role models as we have plenty of those, but someone else for them to love. Both (Wayne & I's) dads have passed away - long before these sweet girls were even a twinkle as they say. Wayne lost his Dad (who we refer to as Papa Norman) when he was only 11, and there are so many ways that he misses his dad and things he didn't learn from him. My dad passed away suddenly when I was in college, 3.5 hours from home. It was 17 years this past March and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was devastated and scared and numb for what seemed like forever after he died. Later that year, I met Wayne and finally someone understood me - and not only did he understand me, he understood my little brother as well - win, win. I struggle with my emotions on a regular basis, and sometimes the littlest things, like a freakin' Hallmark commercial will make me sob. Any movie about fathers and daughters makes me a crying mess - I used to love Father of the Bride with Steve Martin, but cannot even fathom watching it now.

Back to our daughters....they are loved by just about everyone that they spend time with. They are sweet and goofy and respectful (most of the time, ahem) and genuinely the best thing we've ever done. But I witnessed something a few days ago that made me feel guilty. Guilty for something I cannot change or every explain to them. We have family in town for Thanksgiving, my sweet aunt and uncle from IL. My girls have very fond memories of spending time with them over their short lives - they are fun and kind and full of hilarious (or not so much) stories of me as a little girl. They teach my girls something new every time they see them and it's so nice to see them develop this sweet relationship with another generation.

They arrived this past Sunday and from the minute they entered the house, Little G followed my uncle around. If he went to the restroom, she stood outside until he was done. She asked to sit next to him at the table. She brought all of her books to him to read to her. And then she put her sweet head on his chest and laid down while he rubbed her back. I had to excuse myself. I was shocked at how that image upset me. Something so "everyday" that had the power to turn me into an emotional boob. What was even more upsetting was that in my head I kept thinking "it shouldn't be my uncle doing that, it should be her Papa or her Grampy doing that".
I have wonderful memories of quiet moments like those with both of my grandfathers. I lost one of them when I was quite young, but still hear from him every now and then in my dreams. My other grandfather I had longer than I had my own father and I remember so much laughter and silliness and knowledge shared at his table.

Ms. J was named after my dad, which has become tradition in my family. I wish she could know how much he would have loved her and how he would have spoiled her and enjoyed her. And for my Little G, he would have loved the fact that she looks just as I did when I was little, crazy hair and all and how she laughs with abandon and is fearless like my brother.

What do you tell your kids when it becomes obvious that someone is missing? For now we say that they are angels who watch over them. How do you share the sweetness of having a grandfather when they'll never know theirs? How can we talk to them about our fathers without scaring them about the idea of death? So many questions that I may be getting ahead of myself on, but I think I need to start figuring out some answers.

Oh My Blog!!!

2010-10-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

I've been bad. Very, very bad. I'm back and I really want to have a better relationship moving forward. May I explain?

Since the end of June, my world has been crazy. My mom relocated to Texas from Northern California and arrived Father's Day weekend. The very next week I was presented with a great job opportunity that has provided me with a sense of worth again. Not to mention I love what I do and the pay ain't too bad either.

In July we had Ms.J assessed to bypass kindergarten (her birthday is 9/3 so she missed the cutoff by 2 days). Unfortunately the testing was not what was explained to us and while she did phenomenally in most areas, one of the areas she was just 2 points off where she had to be and that was that. Although in the voicemail that was left giving me to news (yes, it was left on voicemail)they recommended we have her tested for Gifted & Talented in the spring. Huh? I'm still confused by that. So, she's the smartest and most mature kindergartener in the school. I was less than thrilled but I feel that I need to choose my battles and this was not one that would go my way, so I made my feelings known and dropped it. She has the most fabulous teacher and they are like little kindred spirits and it makes me sad to think she could have missed out on being in her class.

Little G is back in preschool, with her favorite teacher and learning so much it's a really exciting to watch her grow. I wasn't sure how she would do being at school without her sister, but she has truly blossomed into a little leader and her own little soul. The Director from last year has returned to teaching at an elementary school nearby, so there was some apprehension of how things would go this year with testing, shots and carb counting. I'm happy to say that she's fantastic and while not at diligent about calling me throughout the day, she is someone that I trust completely.

Speaking of trust. Have a mentioned how FANTASTIC Ms.J's school has been with her care? The school nurse, Mrs. R is nothing short of amazing and she trained every adult (including the principal & vice principal) that will be involved with Ms.J during any given day on how to test her sugar and what to do based on what her numbers are. So far, the principal has been given the task of checking her during a low and one of the PE teachers has carried her from the playground in to the nurses office during a low (it was a bit dramatic, but he panicked a little). It has been so much better than I even prayed for. Certainly makes me feel much better about working 25 miles away from home everyday.

My mom being here has given us another element of support that we haven't had since we moved here. It's nice that Wayne & I can have date night and have a back up in the event of sickness or a late work night. We are truly blessed that she made this decision to move near us - I couldn't have asked for any more.

Happy Halloween tonight and I hope you're all having fun with your littles or the scary little goblins that come to your door in search of sugar filled treats!

Dear Diabetes

2010-07-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Diabetes,

I am writing this letter to you as a sort of state of affairs letter. Four years ago today you came to occupy yet another place in our lives. For the record, you were not wanted then and you are especially not wanted even more so now. You have stuck your ugly nose into all of our business, attempted to ruin plans and caused many sleepless nights. You are like that crazy relative that is asked to leave and never come back. You have overstayed your visit and we would like you gone ASAP. I know you will ignore this request, however I would like it documented that you have been told to leave.

You have not accomplished what you set you to do, and for that I am particularly proud. Ms. J is a happy, healthy, 5 year old who is smart and funny and has become an ambassador for the fight against diabetes. Yes, there are those nights when she doesn't sleep because she's low and I'm checking her every 90 minutes, but there are also times when she eats all her favorite foods and we can still manage to keep her in range. YOU WILL NOT WIN! You will not rob her of her childhood. If anything, you've taught her a very good trait - empathy. I'm proud to say that she's the first person to reach out her hand to a new child at school or church, help someone up that has fallen, or talk to another child that has been diagnosed about how important it is to take your shots and do your testing. She has proudly taught her little sister how to test her blood sugar and how important it is to eat the sugar tabs when Mommy says to. Ms. J is stronger than you and she understands that with every finger poke and every shot she is controlling you, not the other way around. She wants a cure more than you know and she is truly looking forward to the day when you get your eviction notice which will be stamped EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

In closing, you should know that your time with us is running out and we are doing everything we can to find the cure to get rid of your nasty arse.

Sincerely,
The Evans Family

June in Review

2010-06-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

June flew by, it hardly seemed like we did anything but then I looked at our calendar and realized that we packed a bunch of stuff into those 4 weeks. We began summer with days in the backyard, looking for bugs and playing in our little pool on the patio. I got a bit of a tan, the girls even more so (with the heavy application of sunscreen even). We prepared for my mom to arrive from California - she and my brother drove out in a moving truck and then he flew back to Cali the next day. We celebrated Father's Day, unfortunately for Wayne it was a disappointment but I'm determined to make it up to him. I interviewed for a fantastic job and will be starting this Wednesday (SOOOOO excited about this). We are still having car problems and have decided to suck it up and just pay to have them fixed rather than replace them. We don't need a car payment right now, but how I loathe the cars we own. SERIOUSLY. Ms. J had her assessment to move into 1st grade (her birthday is 2 days past the cutoff) and it didn't go as well as we had hoped, but I'm working on getting some clarification for the testing that was done as I don't think it was what we were told it would be. Her math skills weren't what they wanted them to be, yet we were encouraged to get her tested for Gifted and Talented in the spring - say what? Her reading is off the charts, which we knew, but I find it odd that excelling in one area would make her a candidate for the gifted and talented program. We also have a new endocrinologist and we are officially leaving Children's Hospital of Dallas - thank goodness! It is not to the endo that I had hoped for, I was sad when we were turned down for an opportunity based on Little G's age, only to hear that someone else that we know was accepted with a child much younger than her. Not that I'm unhappy for the other family, just disappointed and a little jealous.

Wayne did have surgery on his left arm, he has some nerve damage, not all associated with T1, but it cannot be ruled out. They took the ulnar nerve, which runs along the outside of your arm down to your fingers and relocated it to the other side of his arm. They also did carpal tunnel surgery while they were at it. He came through the surgery well and is healing like a champ. He's in a cast up past his elbow and will get it off in 2 weeks and his sugars have been great considering his down time. He's a bit restless and annoyed that simple things like buttoning his pants are more difficult, but he's anxious to get his other arm done sooner rather than later so he can get back to playing guitar and working at full capacity. The right arm will be a bugger because the poor man cannot so much as pick up a fork with his left hand. Should be interesting!

My mom is here now and settled in - more settled in 2 weeks than we are after 10 weeks in our house. She is adapting well to life in Texas and is excited about learning about her new home state. She misses my brother and his family tremendously but knows they are but a plane ride away.

We have been shown an outpouring of love and support over these past few months and we appreciate it more than words can express. If you have thought about us, prayed for us or even read this blog or sent me a note on FB, you are very special to us and we have felt your support. Thank you all!

July is going to be a better month for us and the beginning of much better things for the Evans family. Here's to better days ahead!

Ya Wanna Fat Lip?

2010-06-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

Things are crazy around here. They seem to be a little crazy everywhere though. Lots of crappy diagnosises and medical procedures happening to people I care about and I'm wondering if it's something in the air.

Yesterday was a pretty eventful day at our house. Car problems seem to be the bain of our existence right now....three cars, 2 of them don't run at all and the 3rd is just humping along. Wayne has been fortunate to catch a ride to work all week with a coworker, but the stress is not fun. Since I'm not working right now, money is tighter than usual and having to fix or find another running car that's reliable SUCKS. I'm so tired of thinking and worrying about cars - it makes me physically ill.

Wayne's nice co-worker was also nice enough to take Wayne to his hand surgeon appointment. During this appointment Wayne was delivered some sad news that he's having quite a hard time accepting. He is suffering from neuropathy, not all is believed to be diabetes related and he will most likely not be able to continue playing guitar. His left hand is the worst, he has muscle loss on both the outside of his left hand and in that meaty part of his hand between his index finger and thumb. He is devastated. The right hand is not as severe, but there is still neuropathy present. They will be pulling the nerve that goes down the outside of his arm and re-routing it down the other side, he will be in a cast for 3 weeks. Left arm first, then the right. Light duty at work for the better part of 2 months or being home (not a great option for us right now given the previously mentioned financial status and short term disability is not too good).

Wayne's stressed and not sleeping, I'm sleeping too hard (I know this because I'm not dreaming) and eating too much. I'm always stressed, like most D-Moms, so this is nothing new but the level of stress is exhausting - my brain only shuts off when I sleep. Sometimes enough is enough and I'm saying enough.

The capper on the day was last night (I posted on FB about this already - thank you for the words of comfort, it meant so much). At 9:30, Little G said that she felt like she was low and ran into the bathroom to go potty - pottytraining is going pretty well for us - 10 seconds later I hear a scream and a horrible cry and run in to find her face down on the floor, blood everywhere and she's shaking. I ask Ms.J to get her meter and pick G up to see a HUGE busted lip. Get her tested and she's at 39 - WTH? Get some juice, wait 20 minutes and she's at 50. Wait another 10 minutes and she's at 56, again WTH? Call Wayne he advises a full on carb load with a PB&J - down it goes. Thirty minutes later she's at 145. Oh, and during all of this Ms.J crashes on me too....one juice, one PB&J and then she's around 180. I checked them at 1am and both were over 200. I was waiting for that rebound super high number and it never showed up. At breakfast this morning they were both hovering in the low 200's. I'm at a loss for what happened last night, but I think the dog was fed part of their dinner and I didn't realize it when I cleared the table. That's the only thing that I think can happen. I hate losing and I really hate it when D kicks my ass - but it did over and over last night. Diabetes sucks...and I cannot wait for the day that I can kick your awful ass to the curb.

I'm off now to fix lunch, get out of my pjs and go car shopping. Kind prayers always appreciated.

Did I really just say that?

2010-05-28T07:28:00.001-07:00

As the mom of 2 children with type 1, I often has people who ask questions, make observations and occasionally that one jackass steps up with a real humdinger of a comment. I always welcome questions and I am happy to educate anyone that takes the time to strike up a conversation. Most of the time I bite my tongue and give a very heavily medically termed explanation for the jackass - I still feel that part of my journey with T1 is that of educator - it might just help someone else or even one of my girls one day.

My post today is dedicated to those jackasses out there that open their mouths and stay the most ridiculous things, either without regards to the person their saying them to or because they don't care. My disclaimer on the little story I'm about to share is that it had been a rough night blood sugar wise, I had a raging headache and PMS was rearing it's ugly head. SO, I might have been a tad intolerant. The only part about this that I feel bad about is that I was in the nursery at church when this conversation took place, so unfortunately I will be seeing this person again. Yeah buddy.

We go to the later service at church, it starts at 10:30, ends at 11:45 - I step out at 11:30 to go check Little G's sugar. I head to the nursery where she's playing with her friends to do this. Last Sunday I walk in, say hello to the gals that are watching all the littles and say "G, come here please, we need to check sugars" to which this other mom, who had been sitting on the floor whips around and says "for what?". I tell her that Little G has diabetes and we have to check her sugars regularly to which she replies "I would just DIE if one of my kids was diabetic, it's just SO sad". There must have been a delay in my censor turning on because before I even thought about it I said "no, unfortunately it would be your child who would die, because this isn't optional and you have to put your big girl panties on and deal with it." Enter that really uncomfortable silence and 2 awkward stares from the teenagers that work in the nursery. I finished checking Little G's sugars, signed her out and said goodbye to everyone. To say I was furious is an understatement and then I ran into the gal who oversees the nursery (who is also a teacher at the school there, so I know her pretty well). I told her what had just gone down and prepared her for a complaint about my harshness and she laughed, said that this particular mom finally ran into someone that would give as good as she got. She didn't expect any fallout from it, and she was right. I'm looking forward to church this weekend....I promise to take my Midol before I go. Maybe with a chaser of Prozac.

My wish is that every person out there that thinks it's okay to not use that censor reconsider how their comments will be taken by the other person...especially if that other person happens to be a mother. Apparently stupidity knows no bounds and I hit max capacity on it last Sunday.

Diabetes Blog Week - We like to move it, move it!

2010-05-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

Exercise is necessary for everyone, whether we like it or not. Wayne and I are finally getting back to working out, we know that we are the example that the girls turn to the most.

The girls are very active and spend as much time as possible outside. I think they could easily live in a tree house so long as it had a microwave and flavored water. They love to go for walks, ride their bikes, pull weeds and chase bugs. They spent 2 hours outside this morning learning to use their kiddo-sized racquets to play badminton. They have recess every day at school for 40 minutes, sometimes they're outside, sometimes they're in the gym. The teachers run with them and make sure that everyone is active. We will be starting swim lessons in a few weeks and Little G has just announced she wants to start taking dance lessons. Ms.J has talked off and on about playing soccer, maybe we'll sign up in the fall.

We always check before, during (about 30 minutes in), and after. The girls react differently to exercise, one is high right afterwards, then crashes 2 hours later while the other one will be lower but rebounds 1 hour later with considerable highs. We always make sure they have lots of water and ALWAYS plenty of sunscreen.

Diabetes Blog Week - We're Watching our Carbs

2010-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Since neither of our girls are pumpers, we watch our carbs. My hubby does too. Both girls have a carb target per meal, per snack and for quick sugar. We are fairly consistent with our meal times, but we are also flexible enough to know that sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. We always have snacks with us and their meters are never more than an arm's length away.

There are times when we have birthday parties at school, but most of the mom's that bring goodies to school are kind enough to make sugar free frosting and also make smaller cupcakes for all the kids. LOVE OUR SCHOOL. We don't think that it's wrong to let the girls celebrate with their friends. Does it mean a bigger shot for them? Yes. Does it mean that they can sit next to their friends and lick the cool whip off the top of a cupcake and make a silly face just like everyone else? Hell yes. This doesn't happen very often, so we're okay when it does. We don't do dessert at our house very often (maybe once a month) so their little goodies are appreciated and enjoyed which is the way it should be.

We have our go-to snacks and fast sugars that we always have on hand and we're always on the look out for new ideas.

Thank you to everyone that has been sharing this week. I haven't been able to read everyone's yet, and I'm way behind on my comments too. But I am eating all of this up with a big spoon and fat McDonald's straw. Thank you, thank you!

Diabetes Blog Week - Our Biggest Supporter

2010-05-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

This one will be pretty short, sweet and to the point. Our family has been blessed with a list of fantastic people that have truly stepped up to the plate. Our list has just a many names, but just 3 categories.

1. Our family. Starting with my mom. When Ms.J was dx'd, she spent those 2 days at the hospital with us, sat through the education sessions and the time spent with the nutritionist & dietician and most of the appointments before we moved to Texas. When we moved she was most upset at the idea of anyone besides her taking care of the girls, but especially Ms.J in the event that something should happen. Once Little G was dx'd, she became even more fierce (some might wonder where I get my passion, it's all from my Mama). Our girls are the main reason she is moving to Texas, she feels like they need her and who are we to argue? We all need her.

Now, my SIL's Eileen & Annette, here in TX are fantastic as well. When Little G was dx'd they went to the 101 class with us and are really great when it comes to keeping the girls on the very rare occasion that we ask. They don't volunteer to keep them, but have never said no when asked. Keep in mind that neither of them have children of their own, so it's not like they come equipped for the day to day stuff. But they are wonderful and I'm so grateful that they have not shyed away from any of it. Plus they both walked on our team last year for the Walk to Cure - so we got doubly lucky!

2. Our school. The director at the girls' school, Leslie is nothing short of phenomenal and fearless and ALWAYS acts with the girls' well being in mind. If she has questions, she calls. If she second guesses her knowledge or ours, she always asks. She is fantastic and is the first person outside of our immediate family that I have ever let take care of the girls. I will love her forever for the sense of security she has provided Wayne & I. All of the teachers know the signs and symptoms and have really taken a genuine interest in learning about T1 - unfortunately one of them had a child dx'd with T1 less than a month ago, so she has a good support system already in place. Plus, they let us have a School Walk - actually it was Bounce for 'Betes in the bounce houses - but we raised a boatload of cash for our tiny school of 32 kids. They're all awesome.

3. The D-Mom Community. All the rants and raves and frustrations that I've aired in my blog haven't prevented most of my "regular followers" (all 9 of you)from commenting and offering that note of comfort that we're not in it alone and that yes, T1 does suck ass and that it's okay to not be the happy face of dealing with it that I sometimes try to keep on. Wow, sorry for the run-on sentence. But I do love our little community and the knowledge and the experiences that are shared teach me something every time I read one of your blogs or a comment on FB. More than once you have provided a little warm place where I can go and let down the guard for a bit and just let it fly and I cannot thank you all enough for being here. I wish there wasn't a reason for any of us to be connected this way, but I'm damn glad you're all here. MUAH!

Diabetes Blog Week - Making the Low Go

2010-05-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

I have 4 things on my "grab here first" shelf in the cabinet that houses all of our supplies for the girls. I have 3 things on the list for my hubby as it seems to take about double the amount to get him back on track without another crash an hour later.

Whenever we are going to be in the car for more than a local ride, we take our "car kit" with us. This stays packed with everything we need for all 3 of my T1s and a few snackies for me too. We use a large cooler lunch box/bag and we have enough juices, nuts, dried cranberries, fruit leathers, sugar tabs, cake gels and bottled water to get us by for at least 1/2 day. Plus I always have extra supplies in my purse, just in case. We also have an extra tester and pokers, syringes and alcohol wipes, plus hand sanitizer to use in a pinch.

For the girls, we have sugar tabs, Juicy Juice 4oz. juice boxes, unsweetened applesauce, and cake gel. Cake gel has been a necessity more than once with each of the girls and when they are super low it is the fastest way to get their sugars up short of glucagon.

Our rule is simple - whenever we go to Walmart we grab a bottle of sugar tabs, both girls will eat them and they are very quick to find while digging in your purse while in traffic and you can leave them in the car without them melting during the summer too. Cake gel I seem to find at Hobby Lobby more easily than I can find it in a grocery store or even a store like Target or Walmart, weird but true. I always buy the smallest ones I can find and I keep them in a bowl on the "Grab Here first" shelf.

For Wayne it is a little more difficult. Lows will wake him up out of a dead sleep (thank God for that)but he is usually very uncommunicative. He is usually half asleep and depending on how low he is, he can struggle with putting words together. I have learned to recognize the look and the little beads of sweat on his head. I usually start with a glass of juice (15g) and while he's working on that I make him a PBnJ. I cut it in half and he usually eats the first half and then puts the other half on the nightstand in case he wakes up later. We have gotten in the habit of stocking his nightstand with stuff for him - juice, peanut butter crackers, applesauce and sugar tabs(this is a last resort for him, he hates them). I feel better knowing that he has stuff close by so that he can help himself if I'm not home.

Milk has worked with all my T1s, but it usually upsets their stomach after the fact so it is our very last resort. I know people that this works really well for, so for anyone reading this blog that might be gathering information it is certainly noteworthy. Regular soda is also something that people use, we have made the choice not to give our girls soda so this isn't something we have done - but I know with Wayne it works really well once he gets back the taste of the full sugar soda (he loves his Diet Dr.Pepper).

Diabetes Blog Week - A Day In The Life

2010-05-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Our days are pretty consistent in terms of whether the girls are at school or not. For the purposes of this post, I'm going to put the differences in parentheses () to indicate what would happen if they were in school. They both are in school Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so we have them most of the time. Here goes, hope this doesn't come out like the swirling jacuzzi tub that is my brain right now.

12:30am - Sugar check, head up the stairs with meters, sugar tabs, juice, shots & ketone strips. Since we've moved to the new house the girls are sharing a room by choice, so I can literally sit on the floor between their beds and do their checks. Lows - juice first if they're too sleepy, sugar tabs if they wake up by me talking to them. Corrective doses if they're over 300.

3:30am - sugar check, same routine as before except I've usually left all their gear upstairs on the dresser. If 2nd check is over 250 still then I wake them up and it's pee on the strip time.

6:30am - my alarm goes off, usually try to get up ASAP to get a shower before Ms. J hears me.

7:00am - wake the girls up, sugar check, shots - Humalog & 1/2 dose of Lantus, breakfast (get ready for school)

8:15am -(leave for school), play outside or watch a movie depends on the weather.

9:30am - sugar check, correction if needed, snack and read a book

10am-11:30am - errands, computer time for me - I AM still looking for a job ya know...LOL

11:30am-1pm - sugar check, shots, lunch, more playtime

1pm-2pm - quiet time, Ms. J practices her reading, I work on colors, numbers and writing with Little G

2pm - sugar check, corrective dose if needed and snack

2:30pm - (pick girls up from school)

3pm-5:30pm - God willing a nap for everyone or a movie, Phineaus & Ferb, arts and crafts too.

6pm -7pm - sugar check, shots - 2nd 1/2 of Lantus as well, dinner

7pm -9pm - baths/showers, homework, a little tv, bedtime stories, lights out for the girls

9pm - Wayne leaves for work

9pm-when it gets done - laundry, dishes, reloading supplies, blogging, reading, catching up on DVR shows, scrapbooking, uploading photos, falling asleep on the sofa still fully clothed with my cell phone in my hand so I don't miss my wakeup calls.

The Best Gift - EVER

2010-05-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

My sweet, sweet husband thought of the perfect gift for Mother's Day this year. To his credit he is a damn good gift giver to start with, but I think this present truly topped everything he's ever given me. I will treasure his gift far longer than I would flowers, chocolate or even jewelry. He has given me the one thing I didn't think it was possible to offer to another human. That is TIME.

Wayne works nights, I think I've mentioned this a few times. He leaves for work at 9pm and gets home somewhere around 7am. He is not here for the night checks and he is asleep during the day when the rest of the world is in full swing. Reading that sentence, you might think that he's a slacker, but he's not. When I was working at JDRF, he picked the girls up from school 3 days a week at 2:30pm and hung out with them until I got home around 6ish. If I was working on Mondays & Fridays he would go to the whole day without sleep so we didn't have to pay someone else out the wazoo to watch the girls. He cooks, he cleans, he runs errands, he mows the yard and he's a phenomenal father at the same time. He is my foundation and my rock and I could not imagine anyone better suited for this crazy life of ours. He is hilarious and quirky and ridiculously smart too. But most of all, he loves me. Whether I've missed taking a shower, not brushed my hair, burned dinner or called him in the middle of the night after something awful like one of the girls having a seizure, he loves me and he NEVER forgets to tell me so. I count my blessings for him every single night.

Back to the point of this post - Wayne's Mother's Day gift to me was TIME. He took the week off from work to give me a vacation. Starting today, he is doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands, taking/dropping the girls at school, night checks, early morning wake up calls from hungry kids. I get to REST. I get to SLEEP IN. I can go piddle my time away in the mall or a scrapbook store or taking pictures. I get ME time. With the understanding of course that I can and will call whenever I feel the need to check in and see how everything is going. Not that he can't handle it, because he absolutely can, I'm just not used to turning the reins over completely. We're also going to take some time on Thursday while the girls are at school and go on a DATE. We don't go on dates very often....it's been months since our last one, it may have even been last year.

This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. I'm SO screwed when Father's Day comes...I got nothin'

Sickness, Moving and More Sickness - Oh Crap!

2010-05-03T06:50:00.001-07:00

I was sick the week before Wayne left town for work, seriously sick - knocked me on my arse for 2 days sick. As an adult I don't ever remember being that sick. I was exhausted, had this horrible cough and my ears felt like I was underwater. No, I didn't go to the dr., I was prepared to shake it off - and I have, it just took longer than I thought it would. Then of course while Wayne was gone Little G got sick and we spent a good 2 days of cuddle time and doctors visits before she was back on her game.

On Thursday, the 22nd, our new landlord called to say that we could get into the house that day (fantastic news so I could clean and get the bathrooms & kitchen set up first thing). I drove by the house 3 times and each time they were still moving stuff out, so we went back to the old house and packed and got some stuff together. Got the call that they were out, with the disclaimer that they had not done any deep cleaning, just basic stuff - they had only lived in the house for 4 months, how dirty could it be? WRONG!!!! When I hit the front door I was hit in the face with the stench of cigarette smoke and this weird funk...I'm not sure if it's teenage funk or what, but it's God awful, lemme tell ya. The former tenants hadn't cleaned ANYTHING, not the toothpaste off the faucet, not the food left in the kitchen sink - NADA. These people had 4 kids, 3 teenagers and a baby (whose crib was in the master when we looked at the house)- but seriously, this was worse than any frat guy apartment I witnessed in college. There was at least a 1/4 inch of black filth on the fan in the master bedroom - I gagged when I really got a good look at it. You have a baby sleeping in your room, what the HELL is wrong with you? So, the cleaning took a lot more time than expected - and the smell of smoke and funk still isn't out of the house completely. One of our new neighbors (who is an ICU RN & fantastic) made several suggestions on how to get rid of the smells....we pretty much live with all the windows open right now. Our landlord has been very apologetic and is willing to do whatever we need to get it all taken care of, but in the mean time GROSS!

Then came Friday the 23rd, after spending the day cleaning and moving some of the smaller stuff over, Wayne came home from NC. The girls and I were at the airport to meet him and all was right in our world for a few brief moments. We had thunderstorms that night which Little G slept right through, but Ms. J came flying down the hall after one little roll of thunder - I slept through it all. My backup was home and I was finally able to shut down completely. Saturday, I woke up feeling like a million bucks. We asked one of the Aunties to take the girls for the weekend so we could really focus on getting the move done. Auntie A was kind enough to say yes when we asked her, so I put together very explicit directions with ratios, snacks, and instructions for Little G's antibiotics. I packed the cooler bag with appropriate snacks, everything for lows an extra tester and the rest of their supplies and of course our second bible, the Calorie King book. Auntie A went to the 101 class with us here at Children's, so we're pretty comfortable with her taking the girls and they so love their Auntie A. Plus, we both carried our cells in our pocket just in case.

The move was rough, we have way more stuff than either of us remembered having before and it was just the 2 of us on Saturday. We didn't stop until about midnight and were up at 7:30 on Sunday to get ready to move furniture - Wayne's other sister E came over to help with that thank goodness! We knocked most of the rest of it out, knowing we had one more load to do on Monday and then we could clean the old house. Auntie A was kind enough to bring the girls home (she lives in North Dallas)and they showed up exhausted, happy and shoe-less. Ms. J apparently left her new favorite sandals at Auntie's house and had just jumped in the truck ready to rock n roll. Little G had taken hers off in the backseat while she settled in for a nap. They spent tons of time outside, took long walks, went to McD's (YUCK) and even got a shopping trip to Target with Auntie. She spoils them rotten - really, really rotten ($100 dollars on Easter baskets for them = ROTTEN). But she loves them and is so great to them - they would love her if she took them around the block in a wagon, but she has this desire to spoil the crap out of them, and she has fantastic taste, and won't be denied so why fight it?

So, now we're at last Monday and Wayne is at the old house getting stuff together and in walks the owner of the house new tenant in tow. We hadn't turned in keys yet, so technically we still had possession of said house - but he was pretty cool and gave us until the end of the day - at the same time reminding him that the power and water had already been turned off...WTH? So, we finished the move, wiped everything down, mopped the floors thanks to the melted ice in the kitchen sink...and now only have one stinky house to worry about. Our new landlord made the drive from LA to see the carnage and she was visibly upset - she actually lived in this house, so it's personal. I felt horrible - we asked her about doing the touch up painting, etc. and she told us where everything was and that she would take $200 off next month's rent if we would do that. YAHOO!

During all of this rigmarole, I was asked to coordinate Teacher Appreciation Week at the girls' school. Holy Crap! I sent out my letter, made my plea for support and money and then sat back and prayed these great ladies would be given the support they so deserve. The response has been a little slow, but fantastic none the less. So, we're gearing up for a great week at our little school, with these wonderful ladies I love them all and they are nothing short of angels. We have a fantastic little community and I feel blessed to be part of it all.

I relapsed last week too, right around Wednesday. I felt like someone had had their way with me with a Mack Truck, I had no energy, I had snot and a headache and no desire to do a damn thing. I barely got off the sofa and made Wayne take the girls to and fro school and told him he was in charge of dinner, dishes, etc. He was seriously annoyed that I was sick again, apparently it takes some kind of nerve to get that sick so close to the last time I was sick. It was at that point that I reminded him that it wasn't about him and that he needed to shut his piehole. He profusely apologized and has been flying right since. Nothing like pissing off a sick woman and getting the what for, huh?

We actually did have a little fun while Waynerd was in NC - I even have pics of it somewhere..I get those posted next. But we are moved and getting healthier and we are all together again which means that all is right in my world. I hope the same is true for all of you!

I feel like an ass

2010-04-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

Just got back from the pediatrician with Little G...she has an ear infection. This is the first time ever in her 3 years that she will be taking antibiotics. I KNEW I shouldn't have said anything about the fact that neither of my girls has taken antibiotics since their DX, but no....had to open my big fat mouth and WOMP get it smacked shut. She'll be on amoxicillin and numbing drops (WTH?) twice a day. So I was gearing myself up for another round of "fax her logs" from Children's to get advice (read that NO advice)from a CDE when our pediatrician (who I LOVE) called. She is really up to date on the latest and greatest with T1 and did her internship with the endo unit at Children's, so I can talk to her without really having to go back to the beginning. Anywho - she tells me that Little G's dose will be once in the morning and once in the evening but that Amoxicillin is pretty much straight sugar so it's going to throw her numbers all out of whack. She suggested that I test her 1 hour after her dose and then again at 2 hours after her dose and adjust accordingly. She really understands my frustrations with Children's so this was a gift and I really appreciated the fact that she really simplified it for me and gave me pointers as to how to manage the spike. It's a good jumping off point at least.

I did have an OMH (Oh My Hell) moment while talking to her, I glanced into the mirror across from the exam table and seriously gasped. I look like hell, not a little, not a tad bit - full on, stressed out, not sleeping, packing, moving, single mom this week HELL. I swear I brushed my hair before I left the house...but I looked like I had just crawled out of my crypt. I have dark circles under my eyes that could define a new shade of hell. I wanted to cry, but alas, there is no time for that. I have 5 scrips to pick up today (running out of Humalog, Strips & Lantus, plus the 2 new ones)- I really think my family should qualify for the frequent buyers club on scrips. I have 3 more rooms to pack and Little G is following me like my dog when he's hungry. Hopefully I can tuck her into the sofa and let her nap until it's time to pick Ms.J up from school.

P.S. - Joanne, thank you for posting about what's been going on with Elise - it helped me wrap my head around what's going to be happening with Little G during her stint with Amoxicillin. You are awesome!

We're all Rockstars in our own minds....

2010-04-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

Visit Diabetic Rockstar

Yes, I should be packing right now - but I've got Little G all over me for cuddle time today. SO, while I was reclining with her, I jumped on Facebook to check in. I have several groups that I support on FB and I'm always looking for new resources for T1 and similar to the blogworld, I've met some really kind people.

So, while I'm on FB today - one of my T1 friends posts that she's now a fan of Diabetic Rockstar. What's that you say? I'm a rockstar, my whole family are rockstars so I clickety click my way over to the DR fan page to read up on this group that had to have been started for my family. Great links, great outlook and I LOVE what they do - it's all about support and fighting this disease. I felt like they had been inside my brain when they wrote their mission statement. One day I would love to have a non-profit to pay it forward and this one has truly inspired me. This foundation was started by a 27 year old, newly diagnosed T1 that knew he had to do something. The short summary of his story is quite sweet.

I poked around a bit, I registered as a member and I love the question they ask....are you a Diabetic Rockstar? Parent of a DR? Non-diabetic aka Abnormal? Honestly I feel like I'm all of the above, however I signed up as a parent......but we all know I'm the abnormal one in my house. Pop on over if you so desire, it's a nice site and they have groups that are organized by specialty - T1, T2, Parents, etc. Always good to have another resource in that ginormous freaking back of accessories we all carry.

Okay, back to packing.....uhaul out!

Looks can be deceiving

2010-04-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

I'm so ready for the happy girls above to return to our house. This weekend has been no fun for them and they haven't been shy about letting me know. I can't believe that sorting, packing and laundry are not fun for them - are they crazy? There have been tantrums, whining, crying and then I had to send them to their rooms. BUT, the bright spot - because you know there always has to be at least one.....is their sugars have been spectacular. Potty training for Little G has taken a really good turn and I did get to sleep in this morning (should have been up and getting ready for church, but that just wasn't happening today). Hopefully the weather will be better and we can get out and play a bit tomorrow. Sorry for the run-ons and whining....I just needed to vent.

The To Do List from Hell

2010-04-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am a list maker. I have a master "to do list" that I put everything on, usually this list has about 100 items on it, give or take a few. I have everyday things, such as pick up prescriptions, pay water bill, make dentist appointments on it and projects I want "to do". Whenever I get to cross things off my list, it makes me happy. However, I'm finding that lately I've been adding more to my list than I'm crossing off. We have a few "sitches" (abbreviation for situations) going on at our house and I'm muddling through the best I can. Due to these sitches, my list has grown to a stressful 127 items - with 40 of them being time sensitive. Time sensitive in that they need to get done before April 23rd. So why am I blogging instead of accomplishing my task list you ask? I am stressed and I need the mental break - the next week I most likely won't be around much, which makes me sad. If I am around, I'm hoping that someone will tell me to get back to work.

We are moving. Not far, same zip code, same school zone and closer to a great friend of mine. We are renters for the time being (damn that CA housing market) and the owners of our current resident are moving back to town = bummer. We have volunteers ready to help us move, it's just a matter of getting us ready to move. So in 12 days we are moving from one house to another and taking all our stuff with us. Good thing I'm not working now, because somebody has to purge and pack....I really loathe packing. I love the purging part of it - that feels good, but the part where I have to load up boxes and go through everything in my house is really annoying and stressful. I'm grateful that the girls are in school 3 days a week, I can purge their clothing and toys without their watchful gaze and I can get an entire room packed without a single request for a drink or a snack or a blood sugar check.

Have I mentioned that my sweet, loving husband is leaving to go out of town tomorrow -for TEN days - yes, the entire time I will be getting us ready to move. We've known about his trip for 3 months, but last month his boss changed the dates.....how convenient, right? He's lucky it's for training or I would have cancelled his flight myself. So while he's off learning about new machines and how to build them and maintain them, I'm going to be here, living amongst the chaos that is moving. But I'm not bitter......really I'm not.

I'll be stocking up on energy drinks, caffeine in any form and pizza coupons for this move. Please wish us luck..we gonna need it.

Flashback - Celebrity Apprentice

2010-04-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Wayne and I have been watching Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump this season. We don't watch the normal Apprentice, but we do love to see what charities the celebs are supporting each season. I really got hooked on this show when Trace Adkins was there to support his foundation that supports children with food allergies, one of his daughters has severe food allergies. It breaks my heart to see grown men cry...but when it's over one of their children, I most likely will keep a special place in my heart for them. Seeing Trace Adkins cry when he saw his daughter at the end of the season was a sweet vision of fatherhood that I loved watching & I cried right along with him.

This season on Celebrity Apprentice, one of my least favorite contestants is supporting the American Diabetes Association - so of course I have to ignore the shivers that threaten to run down my spine whenever he opens his mouth and put my faith in him doing well. The "celebrity" that I'm referring to is Bret Michaels....ala Poison, Rock of Love 1-40 and self proclaimed rock god to dozens. He was dx with T1 when he was 6 years old and over the past few years he has become an ambassador of sorts for the ADA. The first show of the season, his team won the contest and as project manager he was able to make a $100K donation to the ADA. He was emotional and confident and so proud to turn that money over - it made me so happy that this cheeseball is on "our" team.

Last night as the show wrapped up the previews for next week's show are running and it shows Bret Michaels taking a call from one of his daughters, then him talking about her being tested for diabetes and she apparently asked him if she was going to have to take shots like him. He looked like he had just been sucker punched in the gonads. I looked over at Wayne and he got these tears, for a brief moment, and then looked away from me. I remembered the way he looked in the hospital the night that Ms. J was dx'd, she was hooked up to the iv and he was sitting in the recliner/bed holding her and crying. Nothing has ever broken my heart more than that moment. There was nothing I could do or say at that moment that would make it better or that would lift the burden that he felt and still does over our daughters dx.

Last night as I said my prayers, I included Bret Michaels and his precious daughter - I hope that she does not have T1 and that this was what we all hoped for in the beginning - a big fat mistake, a false alarm, just a warning.

As for Bret Michaels, I hope he continues to stand out as a front runner and kicking ass for the ADA. Rock on!

How did I get here?

2010-03-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

I took a drive this morning. I dropped my sweet girls off at the PreK / K school they attend. I then came home, dug up a social security card, birth certificate, vaccination records, reference letters, my driver's license and the 22 page booklet I had to fill out. I walked up the street and handed all of these things over to the office administrator at the elementary school. Ms. J got registered for 1st grade this morning. I am so excited for her, yet I can't figure out how she got to this point - wasn't it just yesterday that she was that sweet little babe that we so carefully drove home with from the hospital? She is funny and smart and reading on a 2nd grade level (I think the 7 kids in her kindygarten class has been a HUGE benefit). She loves school, "being crafty" and anything to do with dolphins. She would wear a sundress every day if I'd let her and she may have quite a future as a diplomat.

I have already requested to meet with the school nurse in July to review our 504 plan. I am going to be a regular fixture at that school for the foreseeable future, they might as well get to know me now. We've already done this, now it's just on a bigger scale.....we'll make it, right? This has me more nervous that the first day I went back to work after having her. I pity the fool that messes with my baby...teachers, school nurse, principals and office staff consider yourselves warned.

Do you ever want to just hide?

2010-03-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

I say this in jest - well kind of. We all have our trials and tribulations regardless of what our lives are like. Ours is a challenge on any given day - as is pretty much everyone in a T1 household. I am the minority in my house, to my kids I'm the weird one because I'm not poking my fingers, taking shots and checking for ketones when I pee. For them, I am SO grateful they will have each other for their reality check on what it's like to live with T1 - I am NOT grateful that they both have T1, but if one thing could make their lives easier, I think living in a house where they're not the only one might actually benefit them. Ms. J has become quite the T1 Yoda Jedi Master - she is not afraid to talk to newly diagnosed kids and tell them how important it is that they listen to their parents and eat what they are given and to learn to listen to their bodies. She can tell by looking at Little G if she's high or low and she wakes up at night if she hears Little G making any kind of noise - she can fly down their hallway faster than a speeding bullet to get to us if she thinks anything is wrong. She will then run right back down the hall to sit with her sister while we grab the tester and fast acting sugar.
I was having a bout with insomnia last night....Wayne was snoring and I was on the sofa, watching SNL, Cold Case, CSI Miami -all the shows that will normally cause me to fall asleep sitting up. I played solitaire, surfed the net for 504 plan information and then turned to my DMom Bloggers, because I wanted to "check in" and make sure that everyone's broods were okay. But EVERYONE in my little D-Mom blogworld got a slap in the face yesterday....or have it coming when they check in the next time. There is a family out there that lost their 14 year old son to T1. Mom went in to wake him up and he had passed during the night. I cried as I read everyone's reactions, I cried for his Mom and Dad and his siblings. I cried for the parent or the spouse of someone with T1 - because I'm pretty certain they are/were scared reading this. I know that when I got done crying and praying for them and for us (collectively "us" as the parents of T1 kids or the spouse of a T1). I went down the hall, testers and juice in hand....and checked my girls blood sugars and gave Ms. J some juice and held Little G until she went back to sleep - or maybe until I was ready to let go of her, I'm just sayin'. I crawled into bed, next to that snoring bear, and wrapped my arms around him a little tighter and felt a few more tears roll down my cheek because all I wanted to do was hide from this reality. But then I fell asleep and when I woke up this morning to the giggly voices coming up the hall to see us, I knew that there is no place I would rather be.
We need the cure, we DESERVE the cure. No Mom or Dad or Husband or Wife should have to worry that T1 is going to take their loved one in the middle of the night. To my fellow soldiers in this war, I wish you great numbers, hugs and the strength we need to carry on.

Not Impressed

2010-03-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have a PILE of posts that I need to get up but today I have to vent.....I am so very frustrated with the lows we've been seeing with Ms. J over the last 48 hours. On top of that, I broke down and called Children's (which I don't do unless we're at a complete loss because it ALWAYS adds to my frustration). Today didn't disappoint in that realm, I called at 2pm, left a message for an advice nurse, with the details, my call back number and waited. And waited. And waited. TWO hours later, I get a call and upon introducing herself, asks who she's speaking with and how she can help me.....really? So why didn't I just leave a message with my phone number and ask you to call me back. I bit my tongue, answered her and then went on to explain the lows, that we haven't changed anything about our routine, other than for the past 2 weeks we've been giving her shots before she eats instead of afterwards. I'm waiting to hear the pearls of wisdom about what might be causing her lows, ANY questions at all....instead, she tells me that I need to fax in her logs and write LOWS on the top so they will make them a priority. NO helpful hints, so suggestions, NADA. Exactly why do they call them educators, advice nurses or professionals? I can wing this with the best of them without the nursing degree and the high paying job. I cannot say it any nicer, I am SO unhappy with the lack of care and concern that is presented whenever I do actually call for help with a high or a low. They really should call it a "helpless" center.

I continue to compare our situation here to the care we received when we lived in Sacramento. Our endocrinologists (the 3 in the practice) were fantastic and always greeted us warmly. Whenever we called with a question or a concern we didn't have to wait 2 HOURS for a call back, the longest ever was 20 minutes. Our endo called us twice the first night we took Ms. J home from the hospital, even though he'd just seen her at her first appointment that afternoon. We had 2 calls the first week from the educator and one of the nutritionists emailed us a shopping list. I realize that Dallas is bigger than Sacramento, but the way this system here is set up is a joke and a complete disservice to the patients.

Children's does not account for anything out of the ordinary they will fit you -the square peg -into their round hole....my girls deserve better than this. As their mom & dad we deserve better than this.

I'm wiping my tears of frustration off my hot angry cheeks now and going home.

School Fundraiser for JDRF

2010-02-23T16:18:00.000-08:00

So our little Kindergarten/Preschool that takes such AMAZING care of both girls has been doing a fundraiser this month for JDRF. This Thursday, the 25th, we're Bouncing for 'Betes at school. We have less than 40 kids and already we've raised well over $1000, I'm so unbelievably proud of these kiddos - they have really put their little hearts into all of this. We have a total of 3 girls out of the 35 or so kids that have Type 1, my Ms. J & Little G, plus their friend Susana is with them as well. The staff, kids and families have shown amazing support for this event. We even had a Room Mom make Gluten Free cupcakes for a birthday last week, which I was really touched by (Susana also has Celiac disease). If you're one of my 3 readers and are so inspired, would you consider giving even a few dollars to help our little school really kick butt in their fundraising? The title of this post is the link to the website for online donations. You can search under Jamie or Gabrielle and make a donation in their honor - I personally think they look pretty darn cute in their little JDRF Ambassador visors on their little pages. If you can't donate at this time, which I certainly understand, maybe you could link to my post so we can get a little more exposure? Pretty please? I'd be ever so grateful!

Job Hunting

2010-01-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

My heart is heavy as I type this post. I am looking for another job. I would LOVE to work for free here at JDRF, but sadly, I have to work to help support my family. We have prescription co-pays that cost more than most people's car payments every month and there is that really bad habit that we all have of eating food. My hours have been cut, I had hoped for a raise, but alas that didn't happen either so I am on the search for another position. As things stand right now, about 75% of what I make goes to pay for daycare & school for the girls and gas money. I hate dealing with money and it is a major source of stress for me and always has been - but my reality lies in the fact that what is happening now will not help my family. We will never get ahead with my current situation and that is not something I'm comfortable with.

For those of you in the Dallas area, I am asking for you to keep this information confidential and not mention this to the folks here in the office because I am doing this quietly. I simply cannot help my family by working and quite honestly I am devastated. When I do find another job I will give proper notice and continue to do whatever I can to help this chapter succeed. There is quite a bit more to this, but I am choosing to handle it professionally.

I have updated my resume and started my search officially last night. If anyone out there knows of anyone hiring HR people with a lot of database management background and a need for someone with recruiting experience, please let me know.

On the plus side, I talked to my mom yesterday and she is seriously considering moving here to Dallas - I almost pulled the car over and did a happy dance on the side of the road. The people of Red Oak can thank me later for holding back. ;)

JDRF School Walk Program

2010-01-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

So I think most of my 3 readers probably know by now that I work at the Dallas Chapter of JDRF - I am the School Walk Coordinator. I love, love, love my job - but due to financial issues with everyone this year, we are WAY down on our number of walks and raising money from our schools. I wholeheartedly understand schools not fundraising right now, it can be a lot to continually ask parents to support cause after cause. BUT, I participated in a training session yesterday that has me twitterpated...our National office has incorporated a piece of JDRF's Annual Walks, Walk Central into a very specific Kids Walk program for our schools. Basically what this will allow the schools and their students to do is do ONLINE fundraising as well as selling the paper sneakers. Considering we are California transplants, this is great for when my girls are fundraising and we can send emails to aunts, uncles and the Grandmas asking for support. The one feature that I think is great about this is the parental control that is required for a child to participate and the release that is posted that talks about the fact that nothing about the site is searchable from say a Google or Bing or whatever - so the child is protected from online weirdos. I spend my days recruiting schools and moms for this project and I really want to make it a success - so pray for great parents and schools that want to support JDRF and the research.

2010 - A Better Year, because I said so....

2010-01-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, the title of this post sounds a bit surly - but that's the way I feel right now. I've picked my word for the year, Christmas is all put away, I'm starting my purge and organize plan, BUT (there's always one of those, isn't there?)we're struggling with Little G's blood sugars AGAIN. Both girls had their endo appointments on Monday - their A1C's were a bit higher than last time, but the dr. was happy with them and said "no changes" - fast forward to today. I received 3 calls from school with Little G's blood sugar readings, they were having a helluva time keeping her over 70 ALL DAY. Granted, she's more active and using her little noodle more than she probably has been at home these past 2 weeks, but DAMN! At one point she was at 51, they gave her 3 sugar tabs, checked her at 15 minutes and she was only at 71....NOT good. I asked them to give her a tube of cake gel (please don't judge, this is what works normally for both of our girls). Another 15 minute check and she's at 87. I was sure she'd be right around 130ish, if not higher. I could hear her crying and the pastor of the church was holding her and rocking her (I may just kiss this man the next time I see him - I LOVE their school). I just want to bang my head on the wall...not that it will do me any good at all - but my question of the day is WHY? I know that other D-Parents out there might read this (all 3 of you) and say, yeah we ask that all the time....but can't someone make some sense of this on days like today? I heard a very inappropriate song this morning on a "mix tape" cd...and really, really would like to dedicate it to Diabetes...if anyone out there has hear the song "F*** You" by Lilly Allen, it's a happy little tune, with a great message that made me giggle....still VERY inappropriate and no my girls were not in the car with me when I heard it. I smiled and sang along as I pulled into the JDRF parking lot....dedicating it to this miserable disease.

Well, that was quite a tangent no? I am determined to make this a better year than last year. I have plans, a vacation to organize, school walks to get on the calendar and gala tables to fill. Also, I would love to find the winning lottery numbers at some point - just so I could make a big fat donation that might expedite the research that will make my purse a good 2 pounds lighter whenever we go somewhere. Too much to ask? I think not.

Looking forward to snuggling up with my littles tonight, lighting a big ol' fire and taking in the little moments. Cheers to you and yours - Walk Awards Tomorrow Night here in the big D - if you're coming, please stop by and say hello!

Diabetes, Visitors & Christmas

2009-12-30T08:05:00.000-08:00

Somehow, the last month has simply escaped me. I know that I worked, took the girls to school and had their Christmas party, did my Christmas shopping, wrapping and cooked for like a week straight....took a TON of pictures too - but never got around to putting it on this here blog. I do know that my Christmas cards never got mailed, as a matter of fact they are sitting in my purse as we speak, I hope to get them out today. I can't find the package that was supposed to go out to my cousin and I'm hoping that Wayne sent it and forgot to tell me.

I have become unusually stressed about everything over the holiday season, Little G's bloodsugars have been INSANE and combined with a seizure she had one night, I don't know that I'll ever sleep again. We also noted the 1 year since her diagnosis on 12/19 - we don't celebrate it or acknowledge it in any other way other than what I've done here. I tracked my sleep for the month of November and so far this December and I get an average of 4 hours per night. What the?! How I have been functioning on that little sleep is beyond me and now that I realize it, I'm afraid it's going to become a bigger issue. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I feel as though every minute of every day is spent figuring carbs, shots and wondering what blood sugars that magic 8-ball meter is going to throw at me. I have sat down and cried 3 times this past month because I simply could not make sense of what was happening. I try not to use the word hate, but I HATE DIABETES with every fiber of my being. There, I said it....I admit it that I do have a soul-torturing hate for this awful disease that stalks my entire family.

If you're still reading at this point, then I thank you - you're more tolerant than I'm apparently feeling. It should be more upbeat from here, I promise.
My mom came to visit from CA for Christmas and we packed in A LOT of stuff over the 9days she was here. She arrived on Saturday, the 19th around dinner time, we took her to Whataburger (she's never been), then went to the Gaylord Texan for the ICE! show (which was fantastic)- a lifesize replica of Whoville from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", made of ice....awesome! The Gaylord is an amazing place and there is so much to see there, I can't wait to go back. The next day Mom & I took Ms.J to the Radio City Music Christmas Show in Grand Prairie, then went home to do some baking and menu planning. Wayne had to work Sunday night, so we watched "Love Actually" which is a great holiday movie and ate yummy food. Monday, Mom and the girls made their annual Gingerbread house, while I took a package to be mailed and stopped by to see my SIL Eileen. Baking and naps filled the rest of the day. Tuesday Mom & I finished our shopping - Mom only bought clothes for the girls so she planned on buying their big presents once she got here. We hit it with military precision and managed to be home by 4pm (thanks again to Waynerd for staying up with the girls so we could get this done, I know you were tired). Wednesday came and Mom & I took the girls to lunch and then out to the Double R Reindeer Ranch, to see these beautiful reindeer, Comet & Vixen. We met their owner, one of Santa's official reindeer elves, at Home Depot months ago. He saw us admiring the reindeer lawn ornaments, specifically Ms. J and he gave us his business card and gave Ms. J Santa's official business card and told us to come out. It was a great experience, I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, the girls or Mom & I. Thank you Robert, we'll be back next year! Food shopping for the Christmas Eve Open House we hosted, love shopping with my mom, even if it's at the grocery store. Back home to where we continued to put the menu together, baking, prepping and deciding on serving plates, etc. Drove around that night to see the Christmas lights, got pulled over for running a stop sign and was happy that my honesty did not result in a ticket - yes I honestly did NOT see that sign, I was too distracted by the beauty of the lights. Thank you Officer Thomas. Thursday, Christmas Eve, we cleaned the house, took showers and watched the snow come down and whip all around. We lost power for about 90 minutes and I could see the party being cancelled due to the inclimate weather. BUT, Wayne's family are all troopers and they all came. We even had a few new faces in the mix, as we are becoming acquainted with Wayne's dad's family (long story that I'll get into at another time). It was a great night, delicious food that was appreciated by all and great company too. The girls were in their Christmas pjs and all tucked in while we cleaned up and caught up with our family. Christmas day, it all clicked with the girls, Little G really got into it and can now unwrap like a mad woman. We had a nice breakfast, got dressed and then up to Auntie Annette & Uncle Mark's we went. We had an amazing dinner there, their house was gorgeously decorated and more presents for the girls. We also got stockings filled with all kinds of goodies that I have already used. Plus the annual scratch-off tickets that we all went into the kitchen to do together. Wayne's Mom was the big winner this year with $24. Saturday, we went out to see Auntie Eileen's new baby goats (10 of them!)and do some after Christmas bargain shopping. Wayne decided to pass on the shopping part, but Mom, the girls and I had a good ol' time. 6 rolls of wrapping paper, these beautiful sparkly trees, an awesome star for the wall and a total of $25 spent on it all. Back to the house for lunch, naps, prepping the tur-duck-hen and twice baked potatoes, then Mom & I settled in to watch Julie & Julia. I love the movie and think I might have to buy it for our house (Mom got it in her stocking). The tur-duck-hen took about 2 hours longer to cook than we expected, so dinner was a bit off pace, which was unfortunate, but we made due - everything was very tasty, just at different times. Ha! Sunday, brunch with the whole family before the Grandma's and one auntie had to leave to go home. Was a beautiful week and a great way to spend our holiday.

I have been at work this week, Monday, Tuesday and now today..and I'm talking to parents of newly diagnosed kiddos and it's breaking my heart and making me feel like I should run all over the Dallas area giving these parents hugs and telling them that it's going to be okay - once they learn this new language and how to carry a roll of sugar tabs in their jeans without it looking obscene.

Maybe I'll do a 2009 wrap-up once my fingers stop cramping up after this obnoxiously long post. Until then, Happy New Year to everyone!

I am Thankful

2009-11-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

As we move into this week, the preparations have started, the bird is defrosting and the house cleaning is speeding up. We are hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year, which is a first for a major holiday with Wayne's side of the family. Good news is, my SILs are fantastic and are always ready to help if need be (which I'm going to need when it comes gravy-making time). The girls have been helping - 5 year olds are really good and breaking the bread up for stuffing and Little G has mad cranberry pouring skills into the food processor.
Food aside, I've been trying to take stock in the positive of late - sometimes I feel like I spend my time trying to make things better, look at the sunny side of things and just take what comes our way without being appreciative. But I am blessed, beyond my wildest dreams. I have a husband who is kind and generous and loves me despite my many, many faults. He is my biggest supporter and gives me more credit than I deserve. He still makes my heart flutter when he smiles at me from across a crowded room and he is my partner in crime on the parenting front. He has provided me with intimate knowledge of what being diabetic FEELS like, and that has been a secret weapon in our challenging times with the girls blood sugars. He's just a good egg and I feel so lucky to be his wife. Not to mention he makes the most gorgeous children, with a little help,hehehe. I have 2 fantastic daughters that make me happy just to be alive. I live for their kisses and their silliness and their sloppy kisses and to hear them call me Mommy. My girls are my own little blessings and I'm so happy they are mine. I am blessed with my family - both my immediate family and Wayne's family - my in-laws are great and have always treated me like I was one of them, especially my MIL, I talk to her more that my hubby does. They are helpful, funny and genuinely good people that I'm lucky to be related to. My mom is nothing short of fantastic, she's the queen bee of our family and probably the best all around person that I know. She's smart, money-savvy, loving, generous and the best grandparent anyone could ever hope for their child to have. She is coming for Christmas and I can barely stand the wait. My brother and SIL are challenging me a bit these days, I'm having some issues with their values and integrity, which is all I'm going to say - but I do love them and they have made me an Auntie to the most amazing niece and nephew.
The past year has flown by, we moved from CA to TX, dealt with nightmare movers, Little G was diagnosed with Type 1, found an amazing preschool for Ms.J, I started volunteering at JDRF, then started working at JDRF, met the most beautiful baby boy, saw a great couple get married, had both girls start at the same fantastic school with amazing teachers and the director who is an angel and now we are sharing our home with our family for Thanksgiving 2009. We are lucky and grateful and spoiled in the richest way possible - love and family.

World Diabetes Day

2009-11-15T10:30:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was World Diabetes Day. We talked about it with the girls in the morning, made wishes for what we hope happens until the next World Diabetes Day, then went on about our day. While the girls were playing, I was going through their testers and checking their numbers - my mind started to wander. What would our days be like if we didn't spend what seems like all of our time worrying about blood sugars, ketones and how many carbs were in that little morsel of food that one of the girls just ate? I think about Type 1, insulin, shots, testing and if any of my 3 are high/low or right on target ALL day, EVERY day. I wondered if I would have found my other dream job, in corporate America, would I still be recruiting and helping other people find jobs, instead of working like JDRF does to make the lives of families with Type 1 better? Today I am grateful for the researchers that have the same goal I do - to find the cure, so that I don't have an entire cabinet of medical supplies in my kitchen, that my children and my husband don't have to take 4-6 shots per day, per person, that I don't have to explain to my daughters that even though they just walked 3.1 miles and earned money for JDRF that they still have take shots and check blood sugars. I want to be able to be the voice of hope to parents of newly diagnosed babies with Type 1, to know that they won't have to do this forever and that there is hope in sight - which there truly is, but I wish I could be more certain when I say that the cure is coming SOON. I don't want another Mommy & Daddy to have to look at their child and wonder how they can give him/her shots 4-6 times a day.
To all the Mommys & Daddys who have Type 1 themselves and/or have kiddos with Type 1 too, I wish you health, love and acceptance always. Know that you are the face of this disease and that there is support when and where you need it - always a kind word and others who have walked a similar mile in different shoes.

Passport to Health - Dallas Schools Focus on Diabetes

2009-10-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned a time or ten that I am working with our local JDRF chapter here in Dallas - I've taken on a relatively new role over the past few months, I'm the School Walk Coordinator for the School Walk Program. I have 67 counties (not all of them have schools in them though) that I am hoping to partner with to bring more attention to JDRF, Type 1 Diabetes and encourage kids to ask questions.
That brings me to what happened yesterday here in Dallas - the mayor of Dallas, Tom Leppert is partnering with the ISD Superintendents throughout the Metroplex to bring awareness to Type 1 & Type 2 Diabetes. There was a press conference at City Hall, where parents were encouraged to bring our "ambassadors" to represent JDRF. There were some very "general" and by general I meant ignorant statements made about diabetes being "a choice" which upset more than one parent as it was not clarified that this guy was talking about Type 2, he then went on to say that his dr. had told him that if he continued losing weight and eating better he could stop taking his medication - which immediately caused my 5 year old to give me the stink-eye and that "we'll talk about this later" look.
The overall message is great, encouraging children to make good choices with their food, activities and what the symptoms and challenges can be with any kind of diabetes. Martellus Bennett from the Dallas Cowboys was there, another retired football player was there and then the schmuck that was recently diagnosed with Type 2 - all of these men spoke about Type 2. Then 8 year old Kendall took over the mike, talking about how many finger pokes andshots she's had since she was diagnosed at 2 years old - plus the trials she has at school, not playing at recess or not getting to eat her snack because of blood sugar issues - this little chickadee brought down the house. She was rewarded with a standing ovation and the forever admiration of Ms. J.
After the press conference, the players were signing tshirts, the mayor was taking pictures and I found him down on his knees talking to little G and Ms.J with this whole crowd around them. Next thing I know, he picks little G up, and she wraps her sweet little arm around his neck like they're old friends....and the Outreach Manager from JDRF took a great picture of that moment (see above). We met some new families and I was able to connect with this great mom of a 2 year old that was diagnosed at 12 months old.....she blogs and I need to find the paper she wrote her blog name down on. Overall, it was a good experience, I wish there was a different name for Type 2 diabetes so the generalizations don't become hurtful and that I had taken my camera.

38 Things About Me

2009-08-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Birthday Edition of 38 Things About Me.....with updates on last years list. So today is my 38th Birthday and boy have things changed for me since I turned 37.

1. I happily supported the move out of California to Texas, and have not regretted it once.
2. I met Rick Springfield in person this year and sadly was disappointed
3. I am now the odd man out in my house, Little G now has Type 1, so I'm surrounded
4. I have decided not to watch American Idol since Adam Lambert lost
5. I hate reality TV - the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Survivor, Big Brother
6. I have met some truly amazing people this year
7. I miss my girlfriends in CA
8. I am working on creating a family recipe book for my mom for Christmas
9. I am inspired by Jill & Michelle's Creative Fridays and am working on incorporating a Creative Day into my week
10. I am learning to make bracelets for the girls, so they can wear their medical tags
11. My alarm is country music - I find it easier to wake up to than anything else
12. I'm addicted to Whataburger's Chicken Sandwich
13. I started collecting letter E's and have them hanging over our fireplace
14. I LOVE Facebook and how it has put me back in touch with so many people
15. I follow over 20 blogs, but only read about 10 on any given day
16. I work for the JDRF here in Dallas and it's the BEST place to work (UPDATE FROM LAST YEAR'S LIST)
17. I go by my highschool nickname at work now - apparently it's easier for everyone to remember (?!)
18. I finally got the digital camera I've been pining for, for 4 years
19. I'm contemplating cutting my hair short
20. I am considering getting a second tattoo with the girls initials within it
21. I have a new appreciation for soy milk
22. I am already planning a vacation with my BFF to celebrate our 40th birthdays in 2years
23. I have bought more high heels in the last year than I ever did when I was working in a true office
24. I really miss my cooking club in CA and hope to start one up here very soon
25. I look forward to "movie night" every Friday night with the girls, probably more than they do
26. I'm already looking forward to the holidays and I have lists of everything from Christmas present ideas to decorating projects
27. I haven't been able to find a good sushi restaurant in Dallas
28. I have become fearless when it comes to my kids
29. I loved the Twilight series and feel like a teenage when I read the books
30. I flew to CA for less than 24 hours and it was the best adventure I've had in a long time
31. I held the most special, beloved baby boy this year - my best friend from high school's son, I fell in love with him the minute he batted his baby blues
32. I am challenging myself in ways that I never thought I would - public speaking in front of 300 kids???? Oh My
33. I am really proud of the way Wayne and I have come together with our move, my going back to work and how much he has taken on since we moved
34. I am enjoying a lot of different music these days - it's pretty diverse nowadays
35. I am determined to work on my time management skills, for now, I have NONE
36. I still watch General Hospital, but usually 5-6 episodes at a time
37. I have a secret boy crush - but he's famous, so it's harmless
38. I'm celebrating my birthday this year a little differently, we went on a road trip last weekend, I'm getting a mani/pedi after work today and I have no other plans to celebrate with anything else since Waynerd has to work.

25.

Seriously, how much more?

2009-08-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Normally, I try to have a "God does not give you more than you can handle" outlook - but I have to tell you, the big man and I need to have a heart to heart. In my house, I live with my husband and 2 daughters, all three of whom have Type 1 Diabetes. Collectively, there are 15 shots a day, 14-18 finger pokes to check their blood sugar and constant adjustments to dosages. This is ALOT to handle everyday. Not to mention all of the extra drs. appointments, prescriptions and extra money that seems to fly out of our account every month for the "out-of-pocket" portion of the show.
NOW, my youngest, Little G, is showing signs of Celiac Disease - where your body cannot tolerate gluten of any kind. It does damage to the stomach, the esophagus and can cause lots of problems if it goes untreated. We're hoping to get in for the bloodtests today, and of course we don't want bad news, but not knowing is messing with my mood (of course PMS isn't helping matters either, yeah for Mother Nature), my sleep and it makes me cry everytime Little G tells me her tummy hurts.
Sorry for the rant, but I'm on overload right now and I'm a little overwhelmed.

Where is our summer going?

2009-07-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

Here at our house, we (read that as I)had an eye-opening revelation last week. Our summer is half over - now normally I'm a glass half full type of gal, but this just makes me a little nostalgic. As a family we've had some great adventures - running through the sprinklers, feeding the goats and donkey at Auntie's, popsicles - many, many popsicles, a great family vacation back to CA to visit cousins, Guncle and Auntie and to share the day for a beautiful wedding to 2 of our favorite people. We've seen Daddy play his first gig with his new band at an AMAZING ranch in North Texas; complete with it's own lake, 2 story dock, swimming pool, hot tub AND family center.
We surprised Wayne with a new motorcycle helmet for Father's Day - he was stunned! I was able to talk the guy at MotoLiberty to not tell Wayne when he went back that I had already purchased the helmet he was pining over. Needless to say, this guy spun quite a tale and Wayne was really bummed that the helmet wasn't there. Can you imagine his face when he opened it up? It's not very often that I can shock him, but we shocked him and I was tickled. He's amazing at buying presents, not just for me, for everyone - so any time I can get a good one for him I pat myself on the back. LOL
We saw the most gorgeous fireworks over the 4th of July weekend and then couldn't believe that our drive home was as easy as it was. We're getting ready for Danielle, Keith & Ellie to visit from Arizona in a few weeks. We'll be going to the Dallas Aquarium and may be staying in this area and having a local "staycation" for the Evans, but still get to see new places we haven't gone since living here. I have discovered a new fantastic grocery store in HEB's Central Market. This place has EVERYTHING you could imagine under one roof, hundreds, yes hundreds of types of bread, then there's the cheese selection, olives, hummus, mushrooms, deli meats, plus nuts in bulk - including my favorite roasted almonds with no salt. Last night Mom and I were talking about whether or not she thought she'd make it out for Christmas (yes, we're already discussing winter around here). While we were on the phone I jumped online and did a few searches. One site that I came upon had a fare with great times and was $100 less than the rest - Mom busted out the credit card and we have her itinerary for her to come for Christmas. WAAHOO! Mom is the Queen of Christmas and I cannot wait for her to spend it here with us. I already have a list of "to dos" for while she's here.

My Top 10 Reasons I love being a Mom

2009-05-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

I thought that it would be appropriate, on the eve of Mother's Day, to take a moment to make a list of some of the reasons I love being a Mom. To the 4 people who might be reading this, Happy Mother's Day to you and if you're not someone's Mama, Happy Flowery, Sunny Sunday to You! Here's my list, I could add more, but I'm afraid I'll max out my word count.

10. Hearing my girls yell "Mommy" when I walk through the door at the end of a crazy commute and longish, but rewarding day at work - and the hugs around my legs that I welcome, every.single.time.
9. Seeing my girls together at random times, usually very loving with each other and always together if they're awake - I honestly think the best gift we could ever give them is each other
8. The sweet hugs that Little G gives me when I tuck her in at night, one of the best ways to end my day
7. Both girls are very sweet by nature, very affectionate and cuddlers - I get more hugs and kisses without asking for them - it's fantastic
6. Watching Ms.J grow into a fearless, independent young lady - ready to take on the world, not just fall behind a leader of the pack.
5. The family moments we share with the girls in our room, on our bed, playing or talking or wrestling - just the sweetest moments of silliness
4. The girls big green eyes, long eyelashes and their right cheek dimples - they are so much more than their pretty faces, but damn I really love looking at them!
3. That my girls are happy, giggly, silly little buggers that are S-M-A-R-T, they really are brilliant
2. I feel lucky that I was chosen to be their Mommy, I couldn't imagine my children being any different than they are - I want to do whatever I can to make sure that never changes. I am so proud that they are mine.
1. Because of him - the best Daddy I could have ever dreamed of for my kids

Posts I wish I had written

2009-03-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

The past 5 months, since we made the move to Texas has put be in a bit of a spin out. I get what I need to get done (most of the time anyways), but we've had some pretty major changes take place in our lives, besides the obvious. Since I've been in such a blogging funk, I thought I could at least make a list of the posts I wish I'd done, maybe I'll feel better after it's out of my head....here's to trying!

1. I cannot say how happy I am that my family is back under the same roof again - that is what the goal was with this move and it has happened and I don't think my hubby will ever know how happy that makes me.

2. My mom is an angel, that's all I really need to say.

3. I have found my creative groove again - photography, scrapbooking, creating custom invites are pouring out of me.

4. I now have 3 - yes THREE diabetics in my household. I cannot say enough about the need to find the cure for this horrible, awful damn disease. 14 shots a day in one house is a bit much, wouldn't you say?

5. Because of it's "not ever going away" presence in my house, I am now doing whatever I can as a volunteer and hopefully someday employee at the JDRF. I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore.

6. I love, love, love this photographer's work - every.single.piece - http://www.irenesuchocki.com/ - go check her out, seriously.

7. Ms. J's new preschool is awesome, it is full of love and affection (NOT inappropriate)and she is so happy to go. They welcomed us with open arms and never once did they hesitate when I asked if they could handle a diabetic child - now they want to know if Little G will be there next year, since they'll be pros at that point. How did we get so lucky! AND did I mention that Ms.J is already learning to sound words out and can identify all upper and lower case letters?

8. My best friend who just gets me... ALWAYS calls me on March 4th, without fail, every year for the past 15 years...just to see how I'm doing. She remembers without any prompt that this is the worst day of the year for me...remembering the day my dad passed is still hard for me.

9. Facebook is like crack in that it is instantly addictive - but there are so many bonuses and "feel goods" that come from this naughty little addiction....I have reconnected with my best friend from high school, caught up with other friends from different points in my life and learned a lot about the area I live in.

So there you have the list....I feel like a weight is off my back...but why couldn't it have been taken off my arse??? Geez....LOL

Good Things

2009-02-27T09:12:00.000-08:00

Since I'm still looking for my "dream job" and trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up I thought that it was time to start doing some volunteer work. Two weeks ago I began volunteering at the Dallas JDRF. I talked to the office manager to get the details on when most volunteers come in, etc. and after talking to my hubby, we figured out the day that would work easiest with our schedule. Make that his schedule because my volunteering means that he gives up sleep during the day AND stays up with Little G. Graveyard shift is a killer on normal daytime activities I tell ya.

Fast forward to my first day of volunteering. I arrive and am introduced to the folks in the office, the other volunteers that are already busy little bees and I begin my job for the day. I was asked to write thank you notes that are sent to donors telling a little about our story. After a few of the folks in the office read my note and heard more of the details of the story I was a mini-celebrity of sorts. I was flattered and a little scared that everyone was now so very aware of my family with the diabetic hubby and 2 girls that are all Type 1. I went home feeling like this was a place where I could make a difference, even if temporarily until I find a full-time job and can again be a monetarily contributing member of my household.

So this past Tuesday, I again arrived to volunteer. I was met by on of the office managers and given a pre-audit task (ie, lots of matching and documenting what you're missing type things). The Executive Director found out that I was there and came to talk to me. We moved into an office I told her "our" story and gave her a little bit of an idea as to how we manage our household. She thanked me repeatedly for volunteering and asked how often I thought I might be available to volunteer, when I told her that I was committed to Tuesdays every week until I found a job she got huge tears in her eyes. She asked what my background was and if I would be interested in temp work. She went on to explain that they have a hiring freeze (color me shocked) but that they can bring temps in to help with the walk and the gala. She also said that once the freeze is lifted there may be a place for me there and that she would love to consider me for a full time position. My dream job would be to work at the JDRF and to help make more research possible and more families find the support they need.

I got a call yesterday afternoon from Nancy at JDRF and WE, my entire family has been asked to speak at a donation kick-off next week at a major contributors office next week. They have specifically asked that we bring both girls and that hubby and I talk to the group. I am excited and nervous and SO relieved that hubby will be next to me. Maybe this is why I was moved to volunteer, maybe that higher power needed me to land in this place at this time so that I might be able to make a difference and put a face to diabetes. I just hope I am worthy.

3 blogs removed and an exciting contest - for a great cause!

2009-02-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was catching up on my favorite blogs, I saw a link in Kory's blog about one of the blogs that she reads MckMama's that had a link to yet another blog A Sister for Bean with a contest you can participate in, possibly win a great prize package and help bring a much wanted child home to the family that so heartfully wants her. Since February is the month to celebrate love, and what is sweeter than the love you have for your children - helping another couple bring home an already much loved child is a slam dunk, yes? Got check it out, so that this 3rd blog removed might get some love from this great blogging community we belong to.

Mr. President

2009-01-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

As much as anyone else in the free world, I was moved to tears more than once as President Obama was sworn in. The warmth I felt from the exiting President and his family put a "feel good" touch on the day for me. I feel full of hope and ready for change in this great country of ours.
Since we live in Texas now, in a suburb of the Big D no less you can imagine the fanfare of Former President Bush and the Mrs. returning home that same day. My hubby is from Midland, home of both G.W & Laura so that was cool to watch them touch down in Midland before heading to their ranch. The folks in the neighborhood where the Bushes are moving to are rolling out the red carpets for them, signs, flags, banners, you name it. For the most part people here seem to be happy to welcome them home. I for one couldn't believe the look of relief and pure joy on GW's face as he was wrapping up the festivities at the inauguration. While he may not have wanted Mr. Obama to follow him into office, he seemed genuinely happy to be giving the job to someone else. Can't say I blame him.

Nightly Tale of Despereaux

2009-01-15T19:56:00.001-08:00

Ms.J has loved books since the beginning. She will usually pick a book over a toy if given a choice and we typically have at least 3 books in the car with us at any given time. I thought we'd give a chapter book a try and see if she could sit still and focus on it if we did just one chapter each night. So New Years weekend we went to the bookstore and I helped Ms.J pick out "The Tale of Despereaux". She had been seeing the previews for the movie,so it was a pretty easy choice for her. We settled in that first night to read our chapter but she didn't understand why I stopped when the story clearly was not over with. I let her know that the good thing about books like this were that you got to read a little bit each night. We are now about half way through the book and each night, without fail she makes sure to ask me to read her chapter to her. We look at the pictures from the movie that are included in the book (8 or so total)and she's doing really well keeping all of the characters straight - which is impressive because there are A LOT. I'm already looking for our next chapter book, I'm so excited that she is enjoying the addition to our nightly routine.

It's Baaaaaack

2009-01-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

I used this stuff by the gallon back in high school, after every shower, after swim practice - the almond-cherry smell takes me back. My best friend and I used to take turns buying it and sharing it in the locker room. LOVE this stuff. I saw it the other day while Ms.J and I were at WallyWorld. I turned into a 17-year old on the spot - I immediately unscrewed the lid, took a big whiff and was transported back to those days of swim caps, speedos and great tans. I was so happy that I bought one big bottle and may have to go back to stock up before they take it away from me again. Old School Baby!

2009 - Create

2009-01-06T15:17:00.000-08:00

For this new year, I have decided to change things up a bit. I'm starting off small and going to see where this year takes me and add to it from here. I have never been one to make resolutions and I don't know that my new ideas necessarily count as such - more like an action plan of sorts. After reading for a few years about others choosing a word that represents what they want for themselves in the coming year, I have been inspired to do the same. I am hoping this word will keep me focused and not let so much extraneous "stuff" derail me. My word for 2009 is "CREATE". I love this word and always have and toyed between this and 2 others that are also on my list of favorite words (I'm holding on to those for possible use down the road if this works for me). I hope to "CREATE" more organization, more great memories, more fun, my dream career, a better way of life for my family and a plan to start a foundation to help those with children affected with Type 1 Diabetes.

I am also trying to take stock in the good things that take place. So for this reason alone, I have begun a gratitude journal. It's nothing fancy at this point, but I do find that focusing on the good things can take the edge off. I spend 5 minutes every night writing down all the things I'm grateful for. It really makes me take stock in those sweet moments or that wave from a neighbor we haven't met yet, even that smile from a stranger at the grocery store.

I'll update periodically, but I did want this in print so that the accountability is there. Out with the old, in with the new. Challenging yourself is good and this will be a challenge for me.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T19:58:00.001-08:00

To anyone out there that might read this blog, Happy New Year - I wish you and yours all the best in 2009! WOO HOO!

We Are Blessed

2008-12-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

Christmas itself is over, but we had such a special day as our first Christmas in Texas. Christmas Eve was so much fun, my SIL from Houston came up without her hubby - so there wasn't too much worry over the girls. My other 2 SIL's immediately took over with Ms.J & Little G as soon as I hit the door. Dinner was delicious, how I LOVE me some tamales, chicken, beef, pork I love them all! The girls surprised everyone by eating an entire tamale a piece, plus cornbread, plus chips and spicy salsa - have I ever mentioned that my girls are great eaters and will try anything (knocking on wood). Wayne had to work until 10pm, but he came to his sister's afterwards. The girls were in the spotlight and everyone appeared to enjoy them - my MIL couldn't believe how much they had changed since we saw her last June. I came home around midnight (both girls still WIDE awake) and put the girls to bed and got to wrapping and getting the cookies ready for Santa. Wayne got home around 2am, it was good that he had the chance to catch up with his sis from Houston. He jumped in and helped finish wrapping and around 4am we finally went to bed. I told Ms.J that she was in charge in the morning and she couldn't come past their hallway until she got permission. Lets just say that at 6:30am she strolled in to our room, claiming that it was time for us to get up and that Santa had left the lights on the tree on. I told her to go back to bed and we'd come and get her after while - she stomped off, but we didn't hear from her again. We went to wake the girls up at 8:30am and Little G was SOOOOO not ready to get up. She was tired and cranky and not at all interested in the excitement that is Christmas morning. The girls emptied their stockings, Ms.G got distracted by this cool snow-globe type bouncy ball that Santa brought and didn't want to unwrap anything else. Ms.J finished all of hers and then sweetly "offered" to help Little G open the rest of hers.
Once we finished, we had a yummy breakfast of sweetrolls, coffee and juice. We then got ready to head up to my SIL's house, where the whole clan was meeting up again for dinner and more presents (for the girls anyways, we agreed not to buy for each other, just them). We had a great day there as well, the girls had lunch, took naps (only one bout of SUPER low blood sugars with Ms.J - she was at 24 - OMG). We then had the opportunity to educate the in-laws on the procedure and what is the best thing to give them in those cases. We had dinner while the girls napped, nice to have adult dinner every once in a while and worry only about cutting my food for a change...LOL. We woke the girls up and got them ready to open their presents...there was an ABUNDANCE of gifts and everyone seemed to enjoy spoiling the daylights out of the girls. Auntie D bought them clothes...clothes that I never would....DKNY, Polo, etc. for a 4 year old and a 2 year old? DARLING clothes though, she has wonderful taste. Between the other 2 Auntie's and my MIL, I'm having a hard time remembering who gave them what. I know we have 2 mini chairs & ottomans (geez these are sweet). Each of the girls got little pink scooters, they have a tv-dance camera thing - which the Auntie's opened to make sure it worked, wink,wink. We now have a ball pit and a tunnel type set up for the playroom and clothes...lots and lots of clothes, a great "play" laptop that is a just plain awesome, Ms.J has carried it around constantly since we got home. It was a wonderful Christmas, I feel a little guilty writing this, but I didn't miss Christmas with my family nearly as much as I thought I would - I miss them every day and I love the craziness of the cousins all together, but this was a really sweet Christmas and I really enjoyed spending it with my in-laws.

Here's to Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight I will be, for the first time in 12 years of marriage, spending Christmas Eve with my in-laws - all of them. I'm excited for this new to me tradition and I want to make sure that my girls enjoy being part of this side of the family. Wayne has 3 sisters, 2 of whom live in the greater Dallas area. My mother-in-law lives in Vegas and is spending Christmas here in Texas - the littles are so comfortable with their 2 aunties & uncles that live nearby and their grandma that it will be an easy going evening. My other sister-in-law and her hubby are coming from Houston and to say they don't care for children in an understatement. She has only been around Ms.J once, 2 years ago and has never acknowledged Little G. I'm a bit torn on if I should try to keep them away from these 2 or let them be children and then these adults can do their thing. We're doing chili and tamales for dinner and because of the girls I'll be able to escape early if need be - bedtimes and Santa and all.
On a side note, I had a very brief catchup conversation with one of my dearest friends today and she told me some very special news.....she and her special guy are getting married - it's official! The date has been picked and the planning is in full swing. I cannot express how happy I am that the wheels are in motion, this is one wedding that I have been looking forward to. She has also asked Ms.J to be a flower girl - which I know she will LOVE! I love great news, the more the merrier - especially at the holidays and as this year comes to an end. To have something so special to look forward is a gift unto itself. Congrats to them!
Happy Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas to everyone - may Santa be good to you and your families. Much Love....

My heart hurts....

2008-12-21T09:31:00.000-08:00

This will be a bit jumbly, but I have so much that I have to get out of my head and my heart that I can barely stand it. Last night we returned home from Children's Hospital here in Dallas with our perfect little G happy as a lark. She didn't know she was sick and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about....the day before we were given the news that we were hoping to never hear about our sweet girl. Like her daddy and her big sissy, G is diabetic. To type that word after her name pains me, brings tears to my eyes and my heart hurt. We knew that her chances increased having both a sibling and a parent with Type 1, but the odds (on paper anyways) were in her favor to not end up with it. We recognized the symptoms, started random testing of her blood sugar and started the search for a new pediatrician and referrals to an endocrinologist. Her admittance to the hospital went just like Jamie's did - the pediatrician agreed that she needed to be seen at the hospital. We drove there, spent 7 hours in the ER while we waited for a room in the diabetes wing, G was poked, prodded, and hooked up to an iv for fluids. She was given a hospital issued gown - and was the cutest little thing you've ever seen in one, BTW. We had excellent care, from the EMT to the doctors, this hospital is awesome. Since we are seasoned parents in this arena we were put on the fast track with the education and nutritional education. Due to the small amounts of insulin that is required for Gabby and the fact that we are used to giving shots to little ones, we were sprung last night after dinner. Normally the routine is a minimum of 2 nights and 3 full days of education - there were 3 other children admitted on Friday with diabetes so there was a need for focused, detailed education more so for them than us. The nurses loved G and I think were somewhat sad that she was leaving since she was such a good patient. She only cried when they put the iv in - not during the finger pokes or the shots in her little belly or legs - she was pretty much a model patient and we were told that over and over again how different from most littles her age (22 months)she is. Of course they truly got to see her silliness when sissy showed up with Auntie E to visit (and E could get some training on how to do shots, etc). My girls were so happy to see each other, they laughed and hugged and immediately went about playing. Ms.J showed her big sister side and was very protective of G, grilling the poor nurses over every little thing they did with G - it was very sweet to watch.
The bottom line is that we have the same attitude with G's diagnosis as we did with Ms.J's - you deal with it and incorporate it into their lives simply as a part of who they are and never treat them differently. Diabetic kids can do everything other kids do, they just need to monitor their sugars. We have a great support system here in Dallas, just like we did in Sacramento and I am SO grateful for our family. If this is what God has given us to handle in our lives then I will take it happily. There are parents that were in that hosptial with their children and they don't get to be home for Christmas, some haven't seen the outside for months on end -there is always someone with more to handle than we do, I need to remind myself from time to time of that.
My girls are happy, healthy and the best things Wayne and I have ever done and they are the light of our lives. They are good girls and we are blessed with every smile, dimple, hug and kiss from them.
Oh yeah - and can I just say that I can't wait for this miserable year to be OVER??
2009 has to be a better year - greedily I say that it's our turn for some good luck.

If anyone is reading this, PLEASE help if you can

2008-10-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

I am relatively new to this whole blogging thing, but I have met some pretty cool chicks who have remarkably great ideas and the ability to reach tons of people with their blogs. I certainly don't mean to imply that I do that, but I aspire to do that one day. I have been completely wrapped up in my own universe over the past few weeks, trying to prepare for our move to Dallas - but I checked a friend's blog this morning while having my coffee and was stunned. I cannot explain to you the fear I feel and the problem I'm having breathing while I'm typing. This simply CANNOT happen.

Right now I am doing the only thing I can think of to help a friend of mine - she is one of the kindest, most thoughtful women I've never met. She is spunky and hilarious and unbelievably creative. BUT, this really isn't about her persay - it's about her daughter. My friend Lisa has a beautiful daughter Marielle, her Sunshine Girl, that is currently in END Stage kidney failure and yes it means exactly that. Her family has been tested, they are now moving to friends to be tested but time is running out. I cannot stand the panic I feel when I think of what will happen. I want to protect this family and I feel fierce when I say that.

What do I want to happen? I would love for someone to make the decision to be tested and be a match for Marielle, it's very simple. I want my friend's daughter to be better than okay - I want her to be a normal teenage girl who gets her life back. I cannot currently be considered due to blood pressure issues and the medication I take, or I would put my kidney where my mouth is and hand deliver it to Philadelphia.

Here's the contact information: If you would like to find out more about being a kidney donor to Lisa's 15-year-old daughter, Marielle Carroccio, please contact Joann Palmer of Children’s Hospital of Philadephia at (215) 590-2449.

You can read more about Lisa and Marielle on her blog: The Domestic Diva (she's on wordpress - thedomesticdiva.wordpress.com) - still can't figure out the damn link business.

From my heart and my hope and my faith that this will happen for Marielle, I pray that this will happen - please add them to your Prayer List if you have one, I would really appreciate it and I know they would too.

Handbag Planet

2008-10-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

This fun website is having it's grand opening mid-October and is giving away FREE, yes I said FREE handbags on the day of their launch - go there and register to win, you can even pick the bag you would like to be entered for. Cute stuff! Very pretty bags, great colors and different styles for your whole wardrobe. Enjoy!

Going to the Big D

2008-10-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

It would seem that my family is making a move, make that a BIG move. My sweet hubby has tentatively been offered a position in Dallas, TX. I told him we won't do anything until we have it all in writing, the money, relocation, etc. But that apparently is just details at this point. He's been there for 2 weeks and has been working and going out neighborhood shopping for houses with his two awesome sisters. I'm scared and excited all at the same time, I feel like I'm at the top of the roller coaster and we're starting to head down the hill and pick up speed with no turning back. I would go anywhere with my husband, no questions asked, just as he has with me - but everything I've known for the last 8 years has been here in Sacramento.
I'm sad for my girls that they won't be around their only cousins like they are now (they live 9 miles away). I'm excited for them that they will be around their aunties who simply adore them and make the greatest efforts to spoil them. But most of all I'm dreading the separation of my girls from their Grammy. Grammy is the only person who has ever watched the girls - whether for a few hours or overnight. When I was working, she was daycare and neither of my girls know anyone else. She was with us in the hospital and as involved in the decisions we made for Ms.J when she was diagnosed with diabetes. She is the 3rd parent in our girls' lives and I'm really upset about changing that dynamic.
More details to follow as I get them....working on getting estimates from movers right now and figuring out what the hell I'm going to do with all the crap I own....OMG

Things we do in the car.....

2008-09-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I took my Littles with me to run some errands, drop some clothes off to a single mommy and just get out of the house. We were on a 2 lane road, going over an old bridge behind a friggin' STREET SWEEPER - Ms.J from the backseat says "boy these people just don't know how to drive and why is that guy doing that during the day when everybody has somewhere to go?" Giggling at her rather astute observation, I redirected her to the folks kayaking below us on the river and to the 2 other bridges that were on either side of us. We finally pass the street sweeper, pull up to the light and I hear this "MOM! Why is that girl brushing her teeth in the car? You aren't supposed to do that! Where will she spit? Does she have water to rinse her toothbrush off?" Just as I look over at the toothbrushing, Prius driving (tell me you're not surprised by this)20-something she cuts someone off to pull into a gas station - toothbrush sticking straight out of her mouth. I just sighed and said something to the effect of "we can't make choices for other people sweetheart, we just have to hope they know what they're doing" to which her reply is "well I know that what she's doing is DIS-GUS-TING". My thoughts exactly. God I love that girl.

Kindness, Generosity and did I mention an awesome prize?

2008-09-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Ms. Tiffany over at The R Family Diaries (dufus hasn't learned to do the link thing yet, sorry), has posted today about a great little photo printer she's giving away and has a scavenger hunt of sorts set up to really get your Pay-It-Forwardness started up. She asks you to go to 3 incredible ladies blogs to read about them and give them some words of encouragement. I spent about an hour reading their blogs and can I just tell you that I am inspired by all 3. Truly wives and mothers that everyone would be proud to call part of their family. And thank you to Tiffany for introducing me to each of them.
Anywho - check out the contest & scavenger hunt.....it's worth it, you'll learn and be inspired and captivated by these families.

My cup runneth over today.....

Where were you?

2008-09-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

I remember that day, 7 years ago, exactly what I was doing when I heard the news that one of the Twin Towers had been hit by a plane. Then the second tower, then the Pentagon, then the plane in PA. It was my best friend's 30th birthday that day and I left her 2 messages....the first to wish her a happy birthday, then I called right back to inquire as to the status of her in-laws (2 of whom worked 3 blocks from the Towers). For the first time in a long time I prayed for strangers and families and for New York City itself. Over the next days, weeks and months I was proud of NYC and how they recovered and took care of each other. I was disheartened by the thieves and scammers, but I truly believed that people were doing more good than bad. A year later, I was sent to the Big Apple on business, at Christmastime no less. I found the most magical Christmas city I'd ever experienced....the lights, the department store windows, the decorations, the SPIRIT that was everywhere in that city. I took a taxi to Ground Zero because I had to, I was scared and emotional and my cab driver handed me tissue through the window. I stood on the sidewalk with said cabbie and he told me what it was like that day and how much he loved his city and every single person in it. He too was proud of New York City and how they moved forward and took care of their own during that horrible time. His twin daughters were conceived the night of 9/11 and they have the most beautiful names....Liberty and Hope. How's that for justice?
I long to take my girls to New York City and show them the most amazing city I've ever been to....I want them to experience all that is good about that glorious city and know that it is rock solid.
God Bless America!

How Much Fun Would This Be?

2008-09-10T00:28:00.000-07:00

The gals over at SITS The Secret is in the Sauce: September is SAUCY- Cricut Expressions! have this amazing give-a-way. You can go and enter EVERY SINGLE DAY. What a cool way to get those creative juices flowing, eh? I have seen these little bad boys everywhere and I long to have one to call my own. I can't seem to justify the purchase at the moment as we are currently a single income family, BUT I do have my "when I have a job" list and one of these is on it! Seriously though, how much fun would your next girls night be? Or getting ready for one of your littles birthdays? The possibilities are truly endless and what fun to see all of the other gals that are interested in owning one of these great machines too?

Happy Birthday Ms. J! I can't believe you're 4!!!!

2008-09-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

My beautiful daughter Ms.J is 4 today and I simply cannot believe she's growing up so fast. I know that every mom and dad probably feels the same way. I can remember the drive home from the hospital and being shocked that they actually let us take her with us. She is a joy every single day and I'm SO very lucky to be her mom. She is a sweet, funny girl and a wonderful big sister too. She is loving and silly and smarter than I am already. I'm so very proud of her and all that she does (okay, ALMOST all that she does).
We celebrated her birthday over the weekend - we went and painted pottery with her best friend at Color Me Mine and then went and had little mani/pedis done. We had a family dinner, cake, presents and sillyness all around. She is such a joy.
We're off to have a swim day with the cousins, more to come later, I'm sure!

Walk to Cure Diabetes

2008-09-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Diabetes affects my family every minute of every day. My husband and oldest daughter are both diabetics. Ms.J was diagnosed at 22 months while my hubby was in his early 20's. We have done what we can to ensure that Ms.J has as normal a life as you can when your finger is getting poked 4 to 5 times a day and you have to maintain a fairly rigid schedule for eating and bedtimes to make sure that your sugars are stable. It is a challenge that changes with every growth spurt, cold, or traveling experience. A cure is close, but we still need help to get there.
We have put together a Family team, made up of family and friends that will be participating in the Walk to Cure Diabetes here in Sacramento on Saturday October 5th, 2008. We welcome anyone that wants to come and join us in walking or if you would like to donate to the JDRF you can do that here: www.jdrf.org - you can find my team by looking me up by name: Adrienne Evans under walkers.
Thank you for reading - on behalf of Ms.J, Wayne and the rest of those affected by diabetes.

37 Things About Me

2008-08-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

So, today is my 37th birthday and I'm pretty indifferent about it. I will say that it started off very well with my husband driving 4 hours home from work in Salinas, climbing into bed and being the first person to wish me Happy Birthday. I promptly went back to sleep, but remember being very happy that he was home again where he belongs. I got this idea from Jill over at her blog (see Creativity, Musings & Such in my blog list). I'm still too much of a dufus to figure out how to include a link in my post.
Here are some important things about me to celebrate my 37th year of life:
1. I wish I could make a living as a photographer, but I don't know if I'm good enough
2. My favorite place on the planet is Yosemite
3. My middle name is Lynn, but I dropped it when I got married and now use my maiden name as my middle name
4. I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan since I was 5
5. I was born in Utah, but I'm not Mormon
6. I was the only brunette in my class until 4th grade
7. I moved to CA when I was 14
8. I've had the same best friend since I was 11
9. We haven't lived in the same state in 23 years
10. I love my in-laws, all of them
11. I hope to work for the JDRF in some capacity one day
12. The sounds of my daughters laughing makes me smile wherever we are
13. My last boss was crazy, seriously
14. I am a list maker, I have them everywhere
15. My brother is one of my favorite people and I'm so grateful for him
16. I love Texas
17. I lived in Philly for 3 years and couldn't wait to move back to CA
18. I love New York City and feel completely safe there
19. I'm addicted to scrapbook supplies and any kind of paper products
20. My daughters have made me a girly-girl - I wasn't before I had them
21. I love to cook
22. Sushi is a relatively new passion for me, I love it!
23. I hate to play games....philosophically that is - I LOVE board games
24. I am an awesome thumb wrestler
25. I'm addicted to magazines...I buy at least 5 a month, but do not have subscriptions to any
26. I love to write, stories, letters, notes, you name it
27. I am learning to speak my mind
28. I am a people pleaser by nature
29. I love the fact that one of my daughters looks just like me
30. I have really great friends that love me just the way I am
31. I am ALWAYS late, but I'm getting better
32. My cell phone is the bain of my existence
33. I am very stubborn, sometimes to the point of being unreasonable
34. I work better with men than I do women
35. I want to be the mom that other mom's want to emulate
36. Fall is my favorite time of the year
37. I love being married, truly.

And so it begins

2008-08-12T05:40:00.000-07:00

Ms. J, my crafty, way too intelligent for her 3 year old (almost 4)self started preschool today. She's been talking about it for months and we decided that a full year of school prior to kindergarten would be a good thing for her. She was up and dressed, hair done, breakfast almost finished by the time we had to go - we were off to a pretty good start for the first day of school. THEN, we get into the car to head out and she informs me that I'm going the wrong way, that the school is above Guncle's (that's Uncle to most folks) house. I tell her that we have a different way to get there from our house and to please trust me....we pull up to a stoplight and she points to a blue trash can with numbers and letters stenciled on and asks me, "Do you know what those letters and numbers on that blue trash can say Mommy?" When I give the honest answer of "No", since I was focused on the light and hoping not to get rearended by the man in the ginormous truck speeding up behind us - this is what she tells me....."Those letters and numbers say "THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO SCHOOL"!" I laughed so hard I snorted...for about 5 minutes.....this girl cracks me up....as we passed the bank with the digital sign out front, she commented "that sign says to turn around and go back to where you came from"....again I laughed out loud. She kills me, this child of mine - couldn't love her any more if she was twins!
I did spend her first day of school with her....mostly for my sense of well being. We had a training session with her teachers regarding testing her blood sugar and I thought it would be a good idea to be there as a back up just in case. I'm happy to say that the teacher did a great job, Ms. J was a huge help and told her teacher exactly what she needed to do.
One other really great thing about Ms. J's first day of school is that she is with her best friend, who is also her cousin, Ms. K - they were so happy to be there together and I really think that it will be a great thing for them to share this experience sans their parents. I'm so proud of them!

What an Awesome Group of Ladies

2008-08-03T22:31:00.000-07:00

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There are a group of women on eBay, who are in a phenomenal group, The Boutique Angels - and several times a year they do a charity drive via their auctions. The newest launch starts tomorrow, August 4th and continues until August 17th. 100 PERCENT, yes ALL OF THE PROCEEDS from these auctions will be going to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.
This is a very personal matter for me as my oldest, Ms. J is a juvenile diabetic since before she turned 2. My husband is also diabetic, his kicked in when he was 23. We've had many ups and downs with this tempermental disease, but most of the time it's business as usual, just a few more steps than your average kiddo at meals, playtime or bedtime.
If there's anyone out there reading this blog (highly unlikely, but you never know). I would definitely encourage you to check out the auctions or read about the Boutique Angels on their blog - http://theboutiqueangels.blogspot.com/2008/07/big-hearts-come-in-little-packages.html

Boutique Angels Launch on eBay - Ms. J is the "covermodel"

2008-07-30T08:24:00.001-07:00

New Friends - Good Neighbors - Lots of Little Girls!

2008-07-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

We moved to the town we live in now just this past February - it was one of the best moves we've ever made (minus the steep driveway, all the stairs and the heavy as hell furniture that I seem to love). Over the past 2 years, we spent more time in this area than the little neighborhood we used to live in - Ms. J went to gymnastics here, was up here 2 days a week for daycare with Grammy, good restaurants and just a quieter way of life - oh yeah, and did I mention that my brother and SIL have lived here for almost 4 years. Now we live 9 miles from them versus the 42 miles it was before. Need I say more?
One Saturday as we were sitting down to dinner, I noticed a cute little family walking down our street, Mom, Dad and 2 little girls. Then I realized that I knew the mom and the little girls - the oldest had been in Ms. J's gymnastics class. I ran out to the deck to yell hello and we reconnected. We hadn't been to gymnastics since January, as it was an expense that we just couldn't justify given where we lived and the fact that I wasn't working. BUT, the great thing was that all 4 Littles remembered each other and we promised to exchange information and get together for playdates and such. Fast forward 3 months, and one lazy Saturday afternoon...and there is a knock on our door, 2 wee little girls and their Mommy standing outside with a note for us saying they wanted to play. We had an impromptu playdate right there (our playroom was already destroyed, what could 2 more Littles to do it?) with great conversation and promises of more time together to come.
I knew that I liked her for the year or so that we talked at gymnastics- but those were very short, non-personal conversations in between spotting our girls on the ladders and trampoline. Now that we were sitting in my house, at my table having a great conversation I was so happy that I had found another great lady to talk to and that lived right down the street! We have quite a few things in common, besides each having 2 daughters...we've worked in the same field for years and have similar life experiences. Now I'm just sad that it took me so long to really get start getting to know her. Here's to new friends, for both my girls and me and to good neighbors that we can look forward to seeing out at the mailbox!

Little G gets it, she really gets it.....

2008-07-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

As it is very early in my "blog life", I still have many things to talk about and to share about my family and what they are all about. What happened yesterday kind of shocked me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it - I even dreamt about it last night. But, let me back up and tell you the history on the event before I share the current tidbit.
Our oldest daughter (almost 4) J, was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic 2 years ago at 22 months old. We had just found out that we were preggers with little G, who's now almost 18 months. We had a rough few days in the hospital, but the educators and nurses and endocrinologists that we came to know took phenomenal care of all of us, not just Miss J. Throughout these past 2 years, there have been many adjustments to her insulin, changes in her testing times, and equipment (insulin pen, testers, finger pokers and such) - we have incorporated diabetes into our life fairly well I believe.
As in any household, mornings are pretty crazy around here - testing blood sugar, breakfast, taking shots, getting dressed, teeth brushed, faces washed and all that jazz. We don't hide testing J or doing her shots, especially when we're in our own home. Which brings me to what happened yesterday.
The girls and I were up at my brother's house and they were playing with their cousins - Big K and Little K. The 4 of them are so close in age and spend so much time together that they're almost like siblings. Anywho....fast forward to lunchtime and we're testing Ms. J's blood sugar. Lunch is had, plates are cleaned and carbs are calculated for Ms. J's shot - Little G comes to me with a fake syringe from the doctor kit in the playroom, pulls up her shirt and pokes her little Buddha belly with the syringe and then says "all done", puts her shirt down and runs back to play. I sat there stunned.....I had no idea that she was taking all of this in and really got what was going on with her sister. One of the other things about that moment that brought it all home for me was that when Ms. J was in the hospital initially they were putting an IV in her arm and she was screaming "ALL DONE" while 5 adults held her down to do it. That phrase apparently is something that I use when I finish Ms. J's shots now as well.
From the mouth of babes

Where is the light at the end of this darn tunnel?

2008-07-17T16:09:00.001-07:00

So I've been a SAHM for the past 7 months.....my last real office job was for a company that is a mess on a good day with an owner that has more personalities than a soap opera. I opened my mouth when I shouldn't have and my resignation was accepted that very day - I didn't shed a tear or even acknowledge the relief I felt until I was in my car leaving that day. I have never regretted leaving that Godforsaken company and no matter what happens I never will. I am ready to go to work again out in the office world and now have to figure out what will make me happy AND help support my family so that my husband isn't bearing it all on his shoulders. I have loved every day home with my 2 girls and really have treasured my time with them - but the rest of the homemaker role is just not something I'm good at. My house isn't organized or tidy, but it is clean at least and I do cook every night. I was home to see my littlest one take her first step and then again when she was running like a mad woman 2 weeks later. I have been able to get my oldest ready for pre-school and go to all of their appointments. Money as always is a stress factor for me - I stress when I'm bringing home a paycheck and I stress when I'm not. Large purchases are something I stew about for days on end and I rarely buy anything for myself. I have a list of personal wants, like everyone does, but mine is for very specific things.....like the exact digital camera I would give my eye teeth for....but that's pretty much where my personal wants end. I want to feel good about my role on this planet, the kind of wife and mother I am - but is it too much to ask that I get paid good money to support my family?

Early Evening Gown GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

2008-07-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

Look at this darling little evening gown - the pictures of the little girl are like something out of one of those Disney commercials....very very sweet -

Early Evening Gown GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Photos are one of my favorite things.....

2008-07-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have boxes and boxes of pictures that I've been going through this week - and all I can say is that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them all! Sure some of them are not particularly good or even flattering, but every single one tells a story and holds a special memory. I started going through them all because it didn't seem like we had any pictures in our house of my husband and I - we've been together for 15 years and I have 3 pictures of us together? That simply cannot be right....so I started going through my boxes and guess what I have realized? In 15 years, aside from our wedding - I've counted only about 10 pictures of us taken together. I'm sure this is not that surprising to many shutterbugs out there....but apparently I've spent a whole lot more time behind the camera than in front of it. I'm making a vow to start handing my camera to others so that I can actually be part of the fun and so that my girls will actually remember that I was part of their special days or just their average days captured in pictures.