Somehow, the last month has simply escaped me. I know that I worked, took the girls to school and had their Christmas party, did my Christmas shopping, wrapping and cooked for like a week straight....took a TON of pictures too - but never got around to putting it on this here blog. I do know that my Christmas cards never got mailed, as a matter of fact they are sitting in my purse as we speak, I hope to get them out today. I can't find the package that was supposed to go out to my cousin and I'm hoping that Wayne sent it and forgot to tell me.
I have become unusually stressed about everything over the holiday season, Little G's bloodsugars have been INSANE and combined with a seizure she had one night, I don't know that I'll ever sleep again. We also noted the 1 year since her diagnosis on 12/19 - we don't celebrate it or acknowledge it in any other way other than what I've done here. I tracked my sleep for the month of November and so far this December and I get an average of 4 hours per night. What the?! How I have been functioning on that little sleep is beyond me and now that I realize it, I'm afraid it's going to become a bigger issue. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I feel as though every minute of every day is spent figuring carbs, shots and wondering what blood sugars that magic 8-ball meter is going to throw at me. I have sat down and cried 3 times this past month because I simply could not make sense of what was happening. I try not to use the word hate, but I HATE DIABETES with every fiber of my being. There, I said it....I admit it that I do have a soul-torturing hate for this awful disease that stalks my entire family.
If you're still reading at this point, then I thank you - you're more tolerant than I'm apparently feeling. It should be more upbeat from here, I promise.
My mom came to visit from CA for Christmas and we packed in A LOT of stuff over the 9days she was here. She arrived on Saturday, the 19th around dinner time, we took her to Whataburger (she's never been), then went to the Gaylord Texan for the ICE! show (which was fantastic)- a lifesize replica of Whoville from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", made of ice....awesome! The Gaylord is an amazing place and there is so much to see there, I can't wait to go back. The next day Mom & I took Ms.J to the Radio City Music Christmas Show in Grand Prairie, then went home to do some baking and menu planning. Wayne had to work Sunday night, so we watched "Love Actually" which is a great holiday movie and ate yummy food. Monday, Mom and the girls made their annual Gingerbread house, while I took a package to be mailed and stopped by to see my SIL Eileen. Baking and naps filled the rest of the day. Tuesday Mom & I finished our shopping - Mom only bought clothes for the girls so she planned on buying their big presents once she got here. We hit it with military precision and managed to be home by 4pm (thanks again to Waynerd for staying up with the girls so we could get this done, I know you were tired). Wednesday came and Mom & I took the girls to lunch and then out to the Double R Reindeer Ranch, to see these beautiful reindeer, Comet & Vixen. We met their owner, one of Santa's official reindeer elves, at Home Depot months ago. He saw us admiring the reindeer lawn ornaments, specifically Ms. J and he gave us his business card and gave Ms. J Santa's official business card and told us to come out. It was a great experience, I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, the girls or Mom & I. Thank you Robert, we'll be back next year! Food shopping for the Christmas Eve Open House we hosted, love shopping with my mom, even if it's at the grocery store. Back home to where we continued to put the menu together, baking, prepping and deciding on serving plates, etc. Drove around that night to see the Christmas lights, got pulled over for running a stop sign and was happy that my honesty did not result in a ticket - yes I honestly did NOT see that sign, I was too distracted by the beauty of the lights. Thank you Officer Thomas. Thursday, Christmas Eve, we cleaned the house, took showers and watched the snow come down and whip all around. We lost power for about 90 minutes and I could see the party being cancelled due to the inclimate weather. BUT, Wayne's family are all troopers and they all came. We even had a few new faces in the mix, as we are becoming acquainted with Wayne's dad's family (long story that I'll get into at another time). It was a great night, delicious food that was appreciated by all and great company too. The girls were in their Christmas pjs and all tucked in while we cleaned up and caught up with our family. Christmas day, it all clicked with the girls, Little G really got into it and can now unwrap like a mad woman. We had a nice breakfast, got dressed and then up to Auntie Annette & Uncle Mark's we went. We had an amazing dinner there, their house was gorgeously decorated and more presents for the girls. We also got stockings filled with all kinds of goodies that I have already used. Plus the annual scratch-off tickets that we all went into the kitchen to do together. Wayne's Mom was the big winner this year with $24. Saturday, we went out to see Auntie Eileen's new baby goats (10 of them!)and do some after Christmas bargain shopping. Wayne decided to pass on the shopping part, but Mom, the girls and I had a good ol' time. 6 rolls of wrapping paper, these beautiful sparkly trees, an awesome star for the wall and a total of $25 spent on it all. Back to the house for lunch, naps, prepping the tur-duck-hen and twice baked potatoes, then Mom & I settled in to watch Julie & Julia. I love the movie and think I might have to buy it for our house (Mom got it in her stocking). The tur-duck-hen took about 2 hours longer to cook than we expected, so dinner was a bit off pace, which was unfortunate, but we made due - everything was very tasty, just at different times. Ha! Sunday, brunch with the whole family before the Grandma's and one auntie had to leave to go home. Was a beautiful week and a great way to spend our holiday.
I have been at work this week, Monday, Tuesday and now today..and I'm talking to parents of newly diagnosed kiddos and it's breaking my heart and making me feel like I should run all over the Dallas area giving these parents hugs and telling them that it's going to be okay - once they learn this new language and how to carry a roll of sugar tabs in their jeans without it looking obscene.
Maybe I'll do a 2009 wrap-up once my fingers stop cramping up after this obnoxiously long post. Until then, Happy New Year to everyone!
7 comments:
Oh my gosh... what happened with little G that caused her to have a seizure? Low blood sugar? Did you see it happen? This is one of my biggest fears.
We've had a HORRIBLE month too sleep-wise. There were a few nights where we were having to check her almost every hour. Maybe there's something is the air???
Her blood sugar dropped unexpectedly in about 30 minutes - she had been sick, no ketones, but wonky blood sugars - she was sleeping next to me and it was frightening. Ms. J has had one before but this was the first time for Little G - I was so angry after I stopped crying that I couldn't sleep, just laid there and watched her. I think I hit my breaking point this month, I seriously felt like I was losing my mind. CGMs are starting to sound better and better to me....
I would have just died if that had happened to Elise, I don't think I'd ever sleep again. We've been having lots of scary lows too (39 when she woke up from a nap the other day) and I've been pondering the use of a CGM. I'm just not sure Elise would tolerate it.
I am so sorry you are going through this and believe me when I tell you I can totally empathize. Ugh, diabetes SUCKS!
When we went through our education classes at diagnosis, the scariest thing was when they told us about seizures and using Glucagon. It really made the condition seem so serious.
Get some sleep, girl. I don't know how you function on so little sleep. Luckily we don't test during the night unless we are having issues or making adjustments.
I just launched a new blog called D-Mom Blog, which I hope is a resource to other parents of diabetic children. I hope to develop relationships with more parents.
D-Mom Blog http://www.d-mom.com
Best,
Leighann
btw, are you going to the dinner on thursday?
I will be there with bells on, with my family in tow - how about the 3 of you?
we'll be there too... no matter how cold it gets!
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