Job Hunting

My heart is heavy as I type this post. I am looking for another job. I would LOVE to work for free here at JDRF, but sadly, I have to work to help support my family. We have prescription co-pays that cost more than most people's car payments every month and there is that really bad habit that we all have of eating food. My hours have been cut, I had hoped for a raise, but alas that didn't happen either so I am on the search for another position. As things stand right now, about 75% of what I make goes to pay for daycare & school for the girls and gas money. I hate dealing with money and it is a major source of stress for me and always has been - but my reality lies in the fact that what is happening now will not help my family. We will never get ahead with my current situation and that is not something I'm comfortable with.

For those of you in the Dallas area, I am asking for you to keep this information confidential and not mention this to the folks here in the office because I am doing this quietly. I simply cannot help my family by working and quite honestly I am devastated. When I do find another job I will give proper notice and continue to do whatever I can to help this chapter succeed. There is quite a bit more to this, but I am choosing to handle it professionally.

I have updated my resume and started my search officially last night. If anyone out there knows of anyone hiring HR people with a lot of database management background and a need for someone with recruiting experience, please let me know.

On the plus side, I talked to my mom yesterday and she is seriously considering moving here to Dallas - I almost pulled the car over and did a happy dance on the side of the road. The people of Red Oak can thank me later for holding back. ;)

JDRF School Walk Program

So I think most of my 3 readers probably know by now that I work at the Dallas Chapter of JDRF - I am the School Walk Coordinator. I love, love, love my job - but due to financial issues with everyone this year, we are WAY down on our number of walks and raising money from our schools. I wholeheartedly understand schools not fundraising right now, it can be a lot to continually ask parents to support cause after cause. BUT, I participated in a training session yesterday that has me twitterpated...our National office has incorporated a piece of JDRF's Annual Walks, Walk Central into a very specific Kids Walk program for our schools. Basically what this will allow the schools and their students to do is do ONLINE fundraising as well as selling the paper sneakers. Considering we are California transplants, this is great for when my girls are fundraising and we can send emails to aunts, uncles and the Grandmas asking for support. The one feature that I think is great about this is the parental control that is required for a child to participate and the release that is posted that talks about the fact that nothing about the site is searchable from say a Google or Bing or whatever - so the child is protected from online weirdos. I spend my days recruiting schools and moms for this project and I really want to make it a success - so pray for great parents and schools that want to support JDRF and the research.

2010 - A Better Year, because I said so....

Okay, the title of this post sounds a bit surly - but that's the way I feel right now. I've picked my word for the year, Christmas is all put away, I'm starting my purge and organize plan, BUT (there's always one of those, isn't there?)we're struggling with Little G's blood sugars AGAIN. Both girls had their endo appointments on Monday - their A1C's were a bit higher than last time, but the dr. was happy with them and said "no changes" - fast forward to today. I received 3 calls from school with Little G's blood sugar readings, they were having a helluva time keeping her over 70 ALL DAY. Granted, she's more active and using her little noodle more than she probably has been at home these past 2 weeks, but DAMN! At one point she was at 51, they gave her 3 sugar tabs, checked her at 15 minutes and she was only at 71....NOT good. I asked them to give her a tube of cake gel (please don't judge, this is what works normally for both of our girls). Another 15 minute check and she's at 87. I was sure she'd be right around 130ish, if not higher. I could hear her crying and the pastor of the church was holding her and rocking her (I may just kiss this man the next time I see him - I LOVE their school). I just want to bang my head on the wall...not that it will do me any good at all - but my question of the day is WHY? I know that other D-Parents out there might read this (all 3 of you) and say, yeah we ask that all the time....but can't someone make some sense of this on days like today? I heard a very inappropriate song this morning on a "mix tape" cd...and really, really would like to dedicate it to Diabetes...if anyone out there has hear the song "F*** You" by Lilly Allen, it's a happy little tune, with a great message that made me giggle....still VERY inappropriate and no my girls were not in the car with me when I heard it. I smiled and sang along as I pulled into the JDRF parking lot....dedicating it to this miserable disease.

Well, that was quite a tangent no? I am determined to make this a better year than last year. I have plans, a vacation to organize, school walks to get on the calendar and gala tables to fill. Also, I would love to find the winning lottery numbers at some point - just so I could make a big fat donation that might expedite the research that will make my purse a good 2 pounds lighter whenever we go somewhere. Too much to ask? I think not.

Looking forward to snuggling up with my littles tonight, lighting a big ol' fire and taking in the little moments. Cheers to you and yours - Walk Awards Tomorrow Night here in the big D - if you're coming, please stop by and say hello!

Diabetes, Visitors & Christmas

Somehow, the last month has simply escaped me. I know that I worked, took the girls to school and had their Christmas party, did my Christmas shopping, wrapping and cooked for like a week straight....took a TON of pictures too - but never got around to putting it on this here blog. I do know that my Christmas cards never got mailed, as a matter of fact they are sitting in my purse as we speak, I hope to get them out today. I can't find the package that was supposed to go out to my cousin and I'm hoping that Wayne sent it and forgot to tell me.

I have become unusually stressed about everything over the holiday season, Little G's bloodsugars have been INSANE and combined with a seizure she had one night, I don't know that I'll ever sleep again. We also noted the 1 year since her diagnosis on 12/19 - we don't celebrate it or acknowledge it in any other way other than what I've done here. I tracked my sleep for the month of November and so far this December and I get an average of 4 hours per night. What the?! How I have been functioning on that little sleep is beyond me and now that I realize it, I'm afraid it's going to become a bigger issue. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I feel as though every minute of every day is spent figuring carbs, shots and wondering what blood sugars that magic 8-ball meter is going to throw at me. I have sat down and cried 3 times this past month because I simply could not make sense of what was happening. I try not to use the word hate, but I HATE DIABETES with every fiber of my being. There, I said it....I admit it that I do have a soul-torturing hate for this awful disease that stalks my entire family.

If you're still reading at this point, then I thank you - you're more tolerant than I'm apparently feeling. It should be more upbeat from here, I promise.
My mom came to visit from CA for Christmas and we packed in A LOT of stuff over the 9days she was here. She arrived on Saturday, the 19th around dinner time, we took her to Whataburger (she's never been), then went to the Gaylord Texan for the ICE! show (which was fantastic)- a lifesize replica of Whoville from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", made of ice....awesome! The Gaylord is an amazing place and there is so much to see there, I can't wait to go back. The next day Mom & I took Ms.J to the Radio City Music Christmas Show in Grand Prairie, then went home to do some baking and menu planning. Wayne had to work Sunday night, so we watched "Love Actually" which is a great holiday movie and ate yummy food. Monday, Mom and the girls made their annual Gingerbread house, while I took a package to be mailed and stopped by to see my SIL Eileen. Baking and naps filled the rest of the day. Tuesday Mom & I finished our shopping - Mom only bought clothes for the girls so she planned on buying their big presents once she got here. We hit it with military precision and managed to be home by 4pm (thanks again to Waynerd for staying up with the girls so we could get this done, I know you were tired). Wednesday came and Mom & I took the girls to lunch and then out to the Double R Reindeer Ranch, to see these beautiful reindeer, Comet & Vixen. We met their owner, one of Santa's official reindeer elves, at Home Depot months ago. He saw us admiring the reindeer lawn ornaments, specifically Ms. J and he gave us his business card and gave Ms. J Santa's official business card and told us to come out. It was a great experience, I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, the girls or Mom & I. Thank you Robert, we'll be back next year! Food shopping for the Christmas Eve Open House we hosted, love shopping with my mom, even if it's at the grocery store. Back home to where we continued to put the menu together, baking, prepping and deciding on serving plates, etc. Drove around that night to see the Christmas lights, got pulled over for running a stop sign and was happy that my honesty did not result in a ticket - yes I honestly did NOT see that sign, I was too distracted by the beauty of the lights. Thank you Officer Thomas. Thursday, Christmas Eve, we cleaned the house, took showers and watched the snow come down and whip all around. We lost power for about 90 minutes and I could see the party being cancelled due to the inclimate weather. BUT, Wayne's family are all troopers and they all came. We even had a few new faces in the mix, as we are becoming acquainted with Wayne's dad's family (long story that I'll get into at another time). It was a great night, delicious food that was appreciated by all and great company too. The girls were in their Christmas pjs and all tucked in while we cleaned up and caught up with our family. Christmas day, it all clicked with the girls, Little G really got into it and can now unwrap like a mad woman. We had a nice breakfast, got dressed and then up to Auntie Annette & Uncle Mark's we went. We had an amazing dinner there, their house was gorgeously decorated and more presents for the girls. We also got stockings filled with all kinds of goodies that I have already used. Plus the annual scratch-off tickets that we all went into the kitchen to do together. Wayne's Mom was the big winner this year with $24. Saturday, we went out to see Auntie Eileen's new baby goats (10 of them!)and do some after Christmas bargain shopping. Wayne decided to pass on the shopping part, but Mom, the girls and I had a good ol' time. 6 rolls of wrapping paper, these beautiful sparkly trees, an awesome star for the wall and a total of $25 spent on it all. Back to the house for lunch, naps, prepping the tur-duck-hen and twice baked potatoes, then Mom & I settled in to watch Julie & Julia. I love the movie and think I might have to buy it for our house (Mom got it in her stocking). The tur-duck-hen took about 2 hours longer to cook than we expected, so dinner was a bit off pace, which was unfortunate, but we made due - everything was very tasty, just at different times. Ha! Sunday, brunch with the whole family before the Grandma's and one auntie had to leave to go home. Was a beautiful week and a great way to spend our holiday.

I have been at work this week, Monday, Tuesday and now today..and I'm talking to parents of newly diagnosed kiddos and it's breaking my heart and making me feel like I should run all over the Dallas area giving these parents hugs and telling them that it's going to be okay - once they learn this new language and how to carry a roll of sugar tabs in their jeans without it looking obscene.

Maybe I'll do a 2009 wrap-up once my fingers stop cramping up after this obnoxiously long post. Until then, Happy New Year to everyone!

I am Thankful

As we move into this week, the preparations have started, the bird is defrosting and the house cleaning is speeding up. We are hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year, which is a first for a major holiday with Wayne's side of the family. Good news is, my SILs are fantastic and are always ready to help if need be (which I'm going to need when it comes gravy-making time). The girls have been helping - 5 year olds are really good and breaking the bread up for stuffing and Little G has mad cranberry pouring skills into the food processor.
Food aside, I've been trying to take stock in the positive of late - sometimes I feel like I spend my time trying to make things better, look at the sunny side of things and just take what comes our way without being appreciative. But I am blessed, beyond my wildest dreams. I have a husband who is kind and generous and loves me despite my many, many faults. He is my biggest supporter and gives me more credit than I deserve. He still makes my heart flutter when he smiles at me from across a crowded room and he is my partner in crime on the parenting front. He has provided me with intimate knowledge of what being diabetic FEELS like, and that has been a secret weapon in our challenging times with the girls blood sugars. He's just a good egg and I feel so lucky to be his wife. Not to mention he makes the most gorgeous children, with a little help,hehehe. I have 2 fantastic daughters that make me happy just to be alive. I live for their kisses and their silliness and their sloppy kisses and to hear them call me Mommy. My girls are my own little blessings and I'm so happy they are mine. I am blessed with my family - both my immediate family and Wayne's family - my in-laws are great and have always treated me like I was one of them, especially my MIL, I talk to her more that my hubby does. They are helpful, funny and genuinely good people that I'm lucky to be related to. My mom is nothing short of fantastic, she's the queen bee of our family and probably the best all around person that I know. She's smart, money-savvy, loving, generous and the best grandparent anyone could ever hope for their child to have. She is coming for Christmas and I can barely stand the wait. My brother and SIL are challenging me a bit these days, I'm having some issues with their values and integrity, which is all I'm going to say - but I do love them and they have made me an Auntie to the most amazing niece and nephew.
The past year has flown by, we moved from CA to TX, dealt with nightmare movers, Little G was diagnosed with Type 1, found an amazing preschool for Ms.J, I started volunteering at JDRF, then started working at JDRF, met the most beautiful baby boy, saw a great couple get married, had both girls start at the same fantastic school with amazing teachers and the director who is an angel and now we are sharing our home with our family for Thanksgiving 2009. We are lucky and grateful and spoiled in the richest way possible - love and family.

World Diabetes Day

Yesterday was World Diabetes Day. We talked about it with the girls in the morning, made wishes for what we hope happens until the next World Diabetes Day, then went on about our day. While the girls were playing, I was going through their testers and checking their numbers - my mind started to wander. What would our days be like if we didn't spend what seems like all of our time worrying about blood sugars, ketones and how many carbs were in that little morsel of food that one of the girls just ate? I think about Type 1, insulin, shots, testing and if any of my 3 are high/low or right on target ALL day, EVERY day. I wondered if I would have found my other dream job, in corporate America, would I still be recruiting and helping other people find jobs, instead of working like JDRF does to make the lives of families with Type 1 better? Today I am grateful for the researchers that have the same goal I do - to find the cure, so that I don't have an entire cabinet of medical supplies in my kitchen, that my children and my husband don't have to take 4-6 shots per day, per person, that I don't have to explain to my daughters that even though they just walked 3.1 miles and earned money for JDRF that they still have take shots and check blood sugars. I want to be able to be the voice of hope to parents of newly diagnosed babies with Type 1, to know that they won't have to do this forever and that there is hope in sight - which there truly is, but I wish I could be more certain when I say that the cure is coming SOON. I don't want another Mommy & Daddy to have to look at their child and wonder how they can give him/her shots 4-6 times a day.
To all the Mommys & Daddys who have Type 1 themselves and/or have kiddos with Type 1 too, I wish you health, love and acceptance always. Know that you are the face of this disease and that there is support when and where you need it - always a kind word and others who have walked a similar mile in different shoes.

Passport to Health - Dallas Schools Focus on Diabetes

I think I've mentioned a time or ten that I am working with our local JDRF chapter here in Dallas - I've taken on a relatively new role over the past few months, I'm the School Walk Coordinator for the School Walk Program. I have 67 counties (not all of them have schools in them though) that I am hoping to partner with to bring more attention to JDRF, Type 1 Diabetes and encourage kids to ask questions.
That brings me to what happened yesterday here in Dallas - the mayor of Dallas, Tom Leppert is partnering with the ISD Superintendents throughout the Metroplex to bring awareness to Type 1 & Type 2 Diabetes. There was a press conference at City Hall, where parents were encouraged to bring our "ambassadors" to represent JDRF. There were some very "general" and by general I meant ignorant statements made about diabetes being "a choice" which upset more than one parent as it was not clarified that this guy was talking about Type 2, he then went on to say that his dr. had told him that if he continued losing weight and eating better he could stop taking his medication - which immediately caused my 5 year old to give me the stink-eye and that "we'll talk about this later" look.
The overall message is great, encouraging children to make good choices with their food, activities and what the symptoms and challenges can be with any kind of diabetes. Martellus Bennett from the Dallas Cowboys was there, another retired football player was there and then the schmuck that was recently diagnosed with Type 2 - all of these men spoke about Type 2. Then 8 year old Kendall took over the mike, talking about how many finger pokes andshots she's had since she was diagnosed at 2 years old - plus the trials she has at school, not playing at recess or not getting to eat her snack because of blood sugar issues - this little chickadee brought down the house. She was rewarded with a standing ovation and the forever admiration of Ms. J.
After the press conference, the players were signing tshirts, the mayor was taking pictures and I found him down on his knees talking to little G and Ms.J with this whole crowd around them. Next thing I know, he picks little G up, and she wraps her sweet little arm around his neck like they're old friends....and the Outreach Manager from JDRF took a great picture of that moment (see above). We met some new families and I was able to connect with this great mom of a 2 year old that was diagnosed at 12 months old.....she blogs and I need to find the paper she wrote her blog name down on. Overall, it was a good experience, I wish there was a different name for Type 2 diabetes so the generalizations don't become hurtful and that I had taken my camera.