Looks can be deceiving

I'm so ready for the happy girls above to return to our house. This weekend has been no fun for them and they haven't been shy about letting me know. I can't believe that sorting, packing and laundry are not fun for them - are they crazy? There have been tantrums, whining, crying and then I had to send them to their rooms. BUT, the bright spot - because you know there always has to be at least one.....is their sugars have been spectacular. Potty training for Little G has taken a really good turn and I did get to sleep in this morning (should have been up and getting ready for church, but that just wasn't happening today). Hopefully the weather will be better and we can get out and play a bit tomorrow. Sorry for the run-ons and whining....I just needed to vent.

The To Do List from Hell

I am a list maker. I have a master "to do list" that I put everything on, usually this list has about 100 items on it, give or take a few. I have everyday things, such as pick up prescriptions, pay water bill, make dentist appointments on it and projects I want "to do". Whenever I get to cross things off my list, it makes me happy. However, I'm finding that lately I've been adding more to my list than I'm crossing off. We have a few "sitches" (abbreviation for situations) going on at our house and I'm muddling through the best I can. Due to these sitches, my list has grown to a stressful 127 items - with 40 of them being time sensitive. Time sensitive in that they need to get done before April 23rd. So why am I blogging instead of accomplishing my task list you ask? I am stressed and I need the mental break - the next week I most likely won't be around much, which makes me sad. If I am around, I'm hoping that someone will tell me to get back to work.

We are moving. Not far, same zip code, same school zone and closer to a great friend of mine. We are renters for the time being (damn that CA housing market) and the owners of our current resident are moving back to town = bummer. We have volunteers ready to help us move, it's just a matter of getting us ready to move. So in 12 days we are moving from one house to another and taking all our stuff with us. Good thing I'm not working now, because somebody has to purge and pack....I really loathe packing. I love the purging part of it - that feels good, but the part where I have to load up boxes and go through everything in my house is really annoying and stressful. I'm grateful that the girls are in school 3 days a week, I can purge their clothing and toys without their watchful gaze and I can get an entire room packed without a single request for a drink or a snack or a blood sugar check.

Have I mentioned that my sweet, loving husband is leaving to go out of town tomorrow -for TEN days - yes, the entire time I will be getting us ready to move. We've known about his trip for 3 months, but last month his boss changed the dates.....how convenient, right? He's lucky it's for training or I would have cancelled his flight myself. So while he's off learning about new machines and how to build them and maintain them, I'm going to be here, living amongst the chaos that is moving. But I'm not bitter......really I'm not.

I'll be stocking up on energy drinks, caffeine in any form and pizza coupons for this move. Please wish us luck..we gonna need it.

Flashback - Celebrity Apprentice

Wayne and I have been watching Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump this season. We don't watch the normal Apprentice, but we do love to see what charities the celebs are supporting each season. I really got hooked on this show when Trace Adkins was there to support his foundation that supports children with food allergies, one of his daughters has severe food allergies. It breaks my heart to see grown men cry...but when it's over one of their children, I most likely will keep a special place in my heart for them. Seeing Trace Adkins cry when he saw his daughter at the end of the season was a sweet vision of fatherhood that I loved watching & I cried right along with him.

This season on Celebrity Apprentice, one of my least favorite contestants is supporting the American Diabetes Association - so of course I have to ignore the shivers that threaten to run down my spine whenever he opens his mouth and put my faith in him doing well. The "celebrity" that I'm referring to is Bret Michaels....ala Poison, Rock of Love 1-40 and self proclaimed rock god to dozens. He was dx with T1 when he was 6 years old and over the past few years he has become an ambassador of sorts for the ADA. The first show of the season, his team won the contest and as project manager he was able to make a $100K donation to the ADA. He was emotional and confident and so proud to turn that money over - it made me so happy that this cheeseball is on "our" team.

Last night as the show wrapped up the previews for next week's show are running and it shows Bret Michaels taking a call from one of his daughters, then him talking about her being tested for diabetes and she apparently asked him if she was going to have to take shots like him. He looked like he had just been sucker punched in the gonads. I looked over at Wayne and he got these tears, for a brief moment, and then looked away from me. I remembered the way he looked in the hospital the night that Ms. J was dx'd, she was hooked up to the iv and he was sitting in the recliner/bed holding her and crying. Nothing has ever broken my heart more than that moment. There was nothing I could do or say at that moment that would make it better or that would lift the burden that he felt and still does over our daughters dx.

Last night as I said my prayers, I included Bret Michaels and his precious daughter - I hope that she does not have T1 and that this was what we all hoped for in the beginning - a big fat mistake, a false alarm, just a warning.

As for Bret Michaels, I hope he continues to stand out as a front runner and kicking ass for the ADA. Rock on!

How did I get here?

I took a drive this morning. I dropped my sweet girls off at the PreK / K school they attend. I then came home, dug up a social security card, birth certificate, vaccination records, reference letters, my driver's license and the 22 page booklet I had to fill out. I walked up the street and handed all of these things over to the office administrator at the elementary school. Ms. J got registered for 1st grade this morning. I am so excited for her, yet I can't figure out how she got to this point - wasn't it just yesterday that she was that sweet little babe that we so carefully drove home with from the hospital? She is funny and smart and reading on a 2nd grade level (I think the 7 kids in her kindygarten class has been a HUGE benefit). She loves school, "being crafty" and anything to do with dolphins. She would wear a sundress every day if I'd let her and she may have quite a future as a diplomat.

I have already requested to meet with the school nurse in July to review our 504 plan. I am going to be a regular fixture at that school for the foreseeable future, they might as well get to know me now. We've already done this, now it's just on a bigger scale.....we'll make it, right? This has me more nervous that the first day I went back to work after having her. I pity the fool that messes with my baby...teachers, school nurse, principals and office staff consider yourselves warned.

Do you ever want to just hide?

I say this in jest - well kind of. We all have our trials and tribulations regardless of what our lives are like. Ours is a challenge on any given day - as is pretty much everyone in a T1 household. I am the minority in my house, to my kids I'm the weird one because I'm not poking my fingers, taking shots and checking for ketones when I pee. For them, I am SO grateful they will have each other for their reality check on what it's like to live with T1 - I am NOT grateful that they both have T1, but if one thing could make their lives easier, I think living in a house where they're not the only one might actually benefit them. Ms. J has become quite the T1 Yoda Jedi Master - she is not afraid to talk to newly diagnosed kids and tell them how important it is that they listen to their parents and eat what they are given and to learn to listen to their bodies. She can tell by looking at Little G if she's high or low and she wakes up at night if she hears Little G making any kind of noise - she can fly down their hallway faster than a speeding bullet to get to us if she thinks anything is wrong. She will then run right back down the hall to sit with her sister while we grab the tester and fast acting sugar.
I was having a bout with insomnia last night....Wayne was snoring and I was on the sofa, watching SNL, Cold Case, CSI Miami -all the shows that will normally cause me to fall asleep sitting up. I played solitaire, surfed the net for 504 plan information and then turned to my DMom Bloggers, because I wanted to "check in" and make sure that everyone's broods were okay. But EVERYONE in my little D-Mom blogworld got a slap in the face yesterday....or have it coming when they check in the next time. There is a family out there that lost their 14 year old son to T1. Mom went in to wake him up and he had passed during the night. I cried as I read everyone's reactions, I cried for his Mom and Dad and his siblings. I cried for the parent or the spouse of someone with T1 - because I'm pretty certain they are/were scared reading this. I know that when I got done crying and praying for them and for us (collectively "us" as the parents of T1 kids or the spouse of a T1). I went down the hall, testers and juice in hand....and checked my girls blood sugars and gave Ms. J some juice and held Little G until she went back to sleep - or maybe until I was ready to let go of her, I'm just sayin'. I crawled into bed, next to that snoring bear, and wrapped my arms around him a little tighter and felt a few more tears roll down my cheek because all I wanted to do was hide from this reality. But then I fell asleep and when I woke up this morning to the giggly voices coming up the hall to see us, I knew that there is no place I would rather be.
We need the cure, we DESERVE the cure. No Mom or Dad or Husband or Wife should have to worry that T1 is going to take their loved one in the middle of the night. To my fellow soldiers in this war, I wish you great numbers, hugs and the strength we need to carry on.

Not Impressed

Okay, so I have a PILE of posts that I need to get up but today I have to vent.....I am so very frustrated with the lows we've been seeing with Ms. J over the last 48 hours. On top of that, I broke down and called Children's (which I don't do unless we're at a complete loss because it ALWAYS adds to my frustration). Today didn't disappoint in that realm, I called at 2pm, left a message for an advice nurse, with the details, my call back number and waited. And waited. And waited. TWO hours later, I get a call and upon introducing herself, asks who she's speaking with and how she can help me.....really? So why didn't I just leave a message with my phone number and ask you to call me back. I bit my tongue, answered her and then went on to explain the lows, that we haven't changed anything about our routine, other than for the past 2 weeks we've been giving her shots before she eats instead of afterwards. I'm waiting to hear the pearls of wisdom about what might be causing her lows, ANY questions at all....instead, she tells me that I need to fax in her logs and write LOWS on the top so they will make them a priority. NO helpful hints, so suggestions, NADA. Exactly why do they call them educators, advice nurses or professionals? I can wing this with the best of them without the nursing degree and the high paying job. I cannot say it any nicer, I am SO unhappy with the lack of care and concern that is presented whenever I do actually call for help with a high or a low. They really should call it a "helpless" center.

I continue to compare our situation here to the care we received when we lived in Sacramento. Our endocrinologists (the 3 in the practice) were fantastic and always greeted us warmly. Whenever we called with a question or a concern we didn't have to wait 2 HOURS for a call back, the longest ever was 20 minutes. Our endo called us twice the first night we took Ms. J home from the hospital, even though he'd just seen her at her first appointment that afternoon. We had 2 calls the first week from the educator and one of the nutritionists emailed us a shopping list. I realize that Dallas is bigger than Sacramento, but the way this system here is set up is a joke and a complete disservice to the patients.

Children's does not account for anything out of the ordinary they will fit you -the square peg -into their round hole....my girls deserve better than this. As their mom & dad we deserve better than this.

I'm wiping my tears of frustration off my hot angry cheeks now and going home.

School Fundraiser for JDRF

So our little Kindergarten/Preschool that takes such AMAZING care of both girls has been doing a fundraiser this month for JDRF. This Thursday, the 25th, we're Bouncing for 'Betes at school. We have less than 40 kids and already we've raised well over $1000, I'm so unbelievably proud of these kiddos - they have really put their little hearts into all of this. We have a total of 3 girls out of the 35 or so kids that have Type 1, my Ms. J & Little G, plus their friend Susana is with them as well. The staff, kids and families have shown amazing support for this event. We even had a Room Mom make Gluten Free cupcakes for a birthday last week, which I was really touched by (Susana also has Celiac disease). If you're one of my 3 readers and are so inspired, would you consider giving even a few dollars to help our little school really kick butt in their fundraising? The title of this post is the link to the website for online donations. You can search under Jamie or Gabrielle and make a donation in their honor - I personally think they look pretty darn cute in their little JDRF Ambassador visors on their little pages. If you can't donate at this time, which I certainly understand, maybe you could link to my post so we can get a little more exposure? Pretty please? I'd be ever so grateful!